9/8/2024 & Revised for 7/6/2025
Turn with me to Proverbs 18:1-2. These are our verses to study and memorize this week.
Proverbs 18:1-2 He who separates himself seeks his own desire, He quarrels against all sound wisdom. 2 A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind.
Introduction
Proverbs 18 builds on chapter 17 where we learned lessons from the ways of the fool. Chapter 17 ended with a focus on the importance of self-control in our words and behaviors. This self-control is a foundational protection from going astray into the ways of fools. However, silence and restraint only go so far. There is also a right time and way to speak. Yet, since all too often our words are what get us into great trouble guidance is very much needed. Chapter 18 adds many facets of that guidance.
To give that guidance chapter 18 focuses on teaching us about foolish and wise uses of the tongue. Proverbs 18:1-14 primarily focuses on negative uses of the tongue. We are being shown pitfalls to avoid. Then Proverbs 18:15-21 follows that up with a focus on positive uses of the tongue. We are being given goals to pursue with the way that we speak.
In the first two verses of this chapter we see two very common causes of dangerous and foolish speech: our powerful desires, and our prideful self-esteem. To be able to say the right thing at the right time we must work to keep ourselves from being controlled by our desires and our pride. Either one of those things will quickly derail our words in the wrong direction.
Let’s take a look now at these two danger areas so that we can better protect ourselves from their corrupting influence on our words and lives.
18:1 He who separates himself seeks his own desire, He quarrels against all sound wisdom.
This proverb highlights the foolishness of blindly following one’s desires. The one bent on pursuing his own desires will argue with even the most common sense.
To communicate its wisdom, this proverb gives us a two fold observation about human nature. First it points out that the person intent on pursuing their desires, goals, and plans separate themselves from others. They no longer have time for family, friends, or other pursuits. They are focused on what they want, and they pursue it full force to the exclusion of other things.
We can often see this when people make the pursuit of money their purpose. On the legal side, many people become workaholics putting in lots of hours and prioritizing it above everything else. On the illegal side many pursue money regardless of whether it means cutting corners, deception, manipulation, or outright crime. None of those things are helpful for maintaining or having good relationships.
We also see this with romantic relationships. When someone gets a girlfriend/ boyfriend/ significant other all of their attention goes there. They want to spend any free time they have with that person. Other friends and even family often get set to the side in light of their pursuit of that relationship.
Hobbies can become like this too. Whether it is sports, movies, TV shows, video games, or other activities people often obsess over their hobbies. They strongly desire them, so they spend as much time as they can pursuing them. Everything else is less important and something to be gotten out of the way so that the hobby can be pursued.
Drugs are also very much like this. They hijack one’s pleasure and motivation sensors in the brain and people will do anything to get their next opportunity. They plot. They plan. They scheme. They sacrifice anything and anyone in order to get what they have come to desperately want.
The second aspect of human nature that this proverb reveals is that the person who makes their desires their ultimate pursuit is that they lose their common sense, wisdom, and rationality. They are so focused on getting what they want that they will not listen to any constructive feedback. They won’t listen to anyone trying to help them think carefully through their decisions if it goes against what they want. They are only willing to listen if people give approval to what they want to pursue. They lose their rationality and argue against all sound wisdom. Because of that they end up being argumentative against those who try to speak the truth when they encounter them.
This then flows into a deepening cycle. Their obsession with their desires separated them from others, but so also does their arguing against wisdom. Since they do not want to be confronted about their sin and foolishness they avoid the people who are willing to speak the truth to them. Likewise, they themselves become unpleasant to be around because they are argumentative, unteachable, and are pursuing foolish or dangerous things.
Scriptural Example: In Scripture we see an example of this in the life of Samson in Judges 14-16. He saw a woman of the Philistines that he liked and he became obsessed with her. He would not follow his parents wisdom (or Scripture’s commands) about marrying an Israelite and not an idolotrous Canaanite. He had to have her as wife. He went against his family and the commandments of God to pursue his desires. He would not listen to them. It only got worse from there. He made it his habit to follow his desires. He wanted the honey in the lion’s carcass even though getting it would violate his Nazirite consecration. He became a loner and pursued prostitutes and immoral relationships rather than living with God’s people under God’s law. Ultimately he strayed far enough from God that he violated one too many commands, had his hair cut, was captured, had his eyes put out, and then ultimately died after one final cry to God to be enabled to bring vengeance on his enemies.
God used Samson to providentially accomplish His purposes, but how much better it would have been had he not obsessively followed his desires, not separated himself from God’s people, and not quarreled with the sound wisdom of his parents and God’s Word. His obsessive pursuits led to foolish behaviors and words.
We also see an example of this with King Uzziah of Judah. According to 2 Chronicles 26 he was a king who did right in God’s eyes. He had a long reign of 52 years, had victory in battles, built up fortifications, and was paid tribute by the Ammonites. God gave him success in everything that he pursued. Unfortunately, in his pride he ended up pursuing something that was not his right to pursue. Even though he was not a priest or Levite he decided to enter the temple and burn incense on the altar of incense. He pursued his desire so strongly that he would not listen to the wisdom of the rebuke of the high priest and 80 other priests with him. Instead he was enraged. He thought too highly of himself. He became unteachable, until God struck him with leprosy. His obsessive pursuit ended up separating him from everyone for the rest of his life. It led him into very foolish actions and words.
The same will be true for us. Our obsessions may vary from person to person, but the reality will be the same. When we make our desires most important we will end up valuing our pursuits more than people. Our selfishness will get in the way of our relationships. We will not want to hear the wise advice of others that goes against what we want to pursue. We will become argumentative against their sound wisdom, and we will use our words to try to get what we really want to pursue. Thus our words will be perverted from what they ought to be.
Instead of building up, helping, encouraging, speaking truth, and being a blessing with our words we will end up using them as weapons to tear others down and to try to get what we want. This is a dangerous use of our tongue which we must avoid. But to really avoid it we need to treat the root of the problem. We need to be careful about what we set our hearts on and pursue. If we let our hearts pursue the wrong things, or if we even let our hearts pursue good things in a wrong way it will end up corrupting our whole lives.
Proverb in Comparison: As we compare this proverb with the rest of Scripture David gives us the foundational reality of what we need to set our hearts on in Psalm 27:4.
Psalm 27:4 One thing I have asked from the LORD, that I shall seek: That I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the LORD And to meditate in His temple.
In the context those desires of David come after David’s declaration in verse 1 that the Lord is his light and salvation. Because of that he has no fear of what people might do against him. Though wars and hosts of enemies should rise up against him the Lord is his confidence, hope, help, and the focus of his desire. He wants God to be His very purpose in life. He wants to know, serve, and delight in God.
In the New Testament Paul laid it out this way in Philippians 3:7-15.
Philippians 3:7-15 But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8 More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, 9 and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, 10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; 11 in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.12 Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. 13 Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude; and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you;
Paul set his heart, mind, soul, purpose and very reason for living on Jesus Christ. Paul realized that all of his previous desires which he had pursued came up empty and worthless. He had not been able to live up to God’s standards. He had not been able to attain true righteousness on his own. He had still been under God’s righteous judgment for his sin. But, in Jesus Christ that all had changed. By faith in Christ, with His death, burial, and resurrection overcoming sin and death, Paul found true life and everything worth having. He had not deserved this forgiveness of God. It had been a merciful, free, undeserved gift of God.
As Paul trusted in Jesus for this forgiveness and life he realized that Jesus alone was worth living for, pursuing, knowing, and serving day by day. This love of Jesus was unsurpassable. This life of Jesus was incomparable. So Paul set knowing Christ more and more as his goal. He wanted Jesus’ power to be lived out in his life and to overcome his struggles and temptations. He wanted Jesus’ love to come through him to other people. He wanted to press forward to living out God’s purposes for his life.
This ought to be our goal and desire too. Like with David and Paul this pursuit will revolutionize and change every aspect of our lives as we keep it in focus. It will bring us towards people and not away. It will bring us towards truth and not quarrelling with it. It will cause us to be teachable and make us want to be corrected when we stray into sin or foolishness. It will cause us to appreciate the sound wisdom that we are taught. We will not argue against it. We will delight in it.
God’s Word will expose what our real desires are. If they are unholy and evil we will either turn from those ways, or we will turn from God’s Word. We will avoid those who remind us of it. On the other hand, if our desires are right and good we have the opportunity to continue to learn and grow from the wisdom others are teaching us with. We will want that and pursue it.
Do you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior like Paul did? Have you seen your sin as the vile, empty, worthless, dangerous pursuit that it really is? Have you seen the amazing work and love of Jesus that He did on the cross and trusted Him personally as your Lord and Savior? If you have not, I would urge you. Trust Him today. Otherwise your pursuits will only end up leaving you eternally separated from God in judgment. Heed the sound wisdom of God’s Word. Do not argue with it until it is too late.
If we have trusted in Jesus as our Lord and Savior the daily question we should ask ourselves is, what am I pursuing and desiring? Is my heart, mind, soul, purpose, and very reason for living set on Jesus Christ like Paul’s was there in Philippians 3? It can be as we remind ourselves of what Jesus has done for us, and as we get to know Him more clearly.
Truth in Connection: As we connect this proverb with our lives there are two very practical ways to apply this.
First, do not separate yourself from those who will speak truth to you. We all need friends that we listen to who will tell us like it is, who care enough for us to let us know when we are not thinking or living rightly. Proverbs 27:6 puts it this way:
Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.
If all we have in our lives around us are those who just go along with what we say we will very likely stray into foolishness with our actions and words. We need to have godly, biblically-minded people around us. We need to let them into our lives enough for them to be able to both encourage us and correct us. We also need to invest in other people’s lives enough to accurately and honestly speak the encouragements and challenges to them that they need to hear. This will not happen with superficial friendships. God designed it to happen within the real relationships of one’s local body of believers in the church as we work together to carry out God’s mission for us here on earth in making disciples. Do you have these kinds of relationships? Are you pursuing them? Are you being this kind of friend?
Secondly, guard carefully what you pursue in life. How can we do this?
A. Make sure what you pursue is right and good. Do not let yourself pursue sinful things. Do not let money, power, pornography, immorality, or pleasure be your goal in life. Pursue knowing God. Pursue loving and serving God. Pursue loving and serving others. Pursue making disciples. Pursue building up your family. Pursue teaching the truth. Pursue using what you have to honor God and help others. View everything in your life, including your life itself, as belonging to God. Entrust it all to Him as His to do with as is best as you serve and live for Him.
B. Make sure that you are pursuing good things in good ways. God created us to enjoy His good gifts in this world as we served Him, but He did not create them to become our idols. Enjoy food, but do not make it an idol. Enjoy relationships, experiences, hobbies, games, your work, and the things that you have but do not make them your purpose in living. Live for God and His purpose for your life as His Word describes. Use and enjoy these things in the way that He designed for them to be enjoyed and used. Yet never stop seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, as Matthew 6:33 commands.
As we carefully guard what and how we pursue things in life it will keep us from foolishness in our actions and words. May we see the surpassing value of knowing Christ and may we keep Him as our hearts desire in what we pursue. May everything else be held loosely with an open hand before God.
In addition to the corrupting influence our desires can have on our words, our next proverb gives us another danger area to be aware of.
2 A fool does not delight in understanding, But only in revealing his own mind.
This proverb highlights the foolishness of the self-absorbed talker. A fool does not try to learn, he just wants to tell you what he thinks.
This describes people who are so self-absorbed that they do not pay attention when others are speaking. They are focused on what they want to say. They are focused on how they are going to respond instead of considering what the other person is saying. They are just looking for a way to jump into the conversation and make things about themselves. They are always considering the angle of the situation or conversation that relates to them.
They are not really concerned about wisdom, about continuing to learn, or about understanding other people or situations. They are concerned with themselves. Because of that their speech ends up being foolish as well.
It is just as Jesus warned the hypocritical Pharisees in Matthew 12:34-37.
Matthew 12:34-37 “You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. 35 “The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good; and the evil man brings out of his evil treasure what is evil. 36 “But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. 37 “For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
The foolishness that is in their hearts ends up coming out in their words and being revealed to everyone. They may want everyone to see their wisdom, thoughtfulness, logic, wit, or charm. But what will really happen is that their foolishness will be exposed. Their lack of true wisdom will become evident. Their foolish perspective and thoughts will become visible.
We end up speaking out of what we already have in our hearts and minds. So if we are content with our ignorance and foolishness, then that is what is going to come out when we speak. If we set our minds on things above and seek out knowing Christ and His wisdom, then as we learn it from Him we will express that wisdom. We will also not be concerned about making ourselves look good. Rather we will be concerned that others go to Jesus and learn wisdom from Him. We will be concerned about the benefit to the other person, not exalting ourselves.
As we saw in our previous proverb foolish speech can result from our wrong desires leading us into foolishness, but here we see that it can also result from having a prideful, self-focused heart.
Scriptural Example: We see an example in Scripture of this in 1 Kings 22 with Ahab when he and good king Jehoshaphat were preparing to go to war together against Aram to recover the Israelite city of Ramoth-Gilead. Jehoshaphat wanted to inquire of God first. So Ahab had his 400 false prophets come and they universally told them to go up in battle because they would have victory. Jehoshaphat, though, wanted a real prophet of God to be checked with. Ahab did not want that because the only true prophet there was a man named Micaiah. Ahab hated him because he always prophesied evil concerning him and not good. Ahab was not interested in the truth. He did not want to learn. He did not want wisdom and understanding. He was only interested in having his own desires confirmed. He wanted his own perspective to come out of the prophets mouths.
When God’s word was revealed to them that Ahab would die in the battle Ahab would not take the warning to heart. He did not want the truth. He only wanted to share and carry out his grand plans to retake Ramoth-Gilead in battle. But just to be safe, he disguised himself in the battle. He relied on his own wisdom, desires, and plans and ignored the rebuke and wisdom of God. It cost him his life. His proud self-focus blinded him to wisdom. He delighted in himself and his plan. This lack of teachability and proud self-exaltation cost him everything.
In the New Testament we see another example of this with a man named Diotrephes in 3 John. Diotrephes was a leader in the church in an area where a traveling missionary named Demetrius was going to be passing through. The apostle John had wanted the church there to support Demetrius and help him along his way. But when John wrote to Diotrephes he refused to help Demetrius and forbade others in the area from helping as well on pain of excommunication. With this letter John wrote to a man named Gaius to make sure that Demetrius would get the help he needed.
In 3 John 1:9 John describes Diotrephes as one who loved to be first among the church. In verse 10 he says that Diotrophes had unjustly accused them with wicked words. His pride and self-focus had exalted himself over even the instruction of the apostle John. He did not delight in wisdom and understanding. He was too consumed with himself and what he thought. Somehow he thought he knew better than John. What foolishness! His pride kept him from wisdom, and led him to foolish words and actions. No doubt there was some kind of self-justification and rationalization in his own mind for his unjust accusations, misunderstandings, and behavior. But it was not right. He was deluded by his pride which fueled his exalted self-evaluation.
Pride exalts our perspective of ourselves and minimizes the perspectives of others. It even disregards God’s Word when it disagrees with us. Pride can cause us to think we do not need wisdom or instruction from others. It will blind us to the truth and lead us into foolish words and behaviors. In our blind fervor we can even do things in the name of God and the truth that are actually directly against what is right and best.
Proverb in Comparison: When we compare this with the rest of Scripture we see the importance of remaining humble and teachable. We need to have an honest view of ourselves.
Philippians 2:3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;
1 Peter 5:5 You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.
Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor;
Romans 12:16 Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.
In God’s church there is no room for pride and self-exaltation. All believers have been given gifts to serve and help one another. Even the leaders are to be servants. It is Christ that is to be exalted, not we ourselves. It is Christ’s wisdom that we all need to hear, not our own. We all need to see ourselves as being under the truth and authority of God’s Word, not the final authority over it.
Truth in Connection: As we connect this to our lives, we see that if this is the perspective that we take to life, to God’s Word, and to each other we will listen to each other. We will humbly remain teachable. We will not be so concerned about always sharing our thoughts on everything or trying to make other people understand us. We will be more concerned about what God’s Word truly says and living it out. We will be more concerned about understanding other people and serving them. We will be more concerned with learning from their insights from studying God’s Word. We will be more concerned with exalting and serving God with each other.
If we live this way, then when we do speak it will not be out of pride and self-exaltation. It will not be the foolishness that results from that. It will be what builds up each other and exalts God.
Conclusion
If you do not know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, then you need to start with recognizing that in yourself you do not have anything to be proud of. All of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. We have rebelled against His holy, righteous standard for life which He created us for. We have ruined His good creation and made it the evil mess that characterizes the world today. Instead of looking to express ourselves for the whole world to see and exposing our foolishness what we really need is to stop and turn back to God. We need to see how much we desperately need His wisdom, teaching, and salvation. We cannot fix this situation that we personally are in, or this world’s problems. Only God can.
Jesus came 2,000 years ago to deal with the sin problem that we have between us and God. He came to pay the penalty for our sin by giving His own life in our place so that all who trust in Him may be forgiven, reconciled to God, and receive His eternal life within themselves. Turn to God for His redemption and restoration. Be born again, as John calls it in John 3. Turn from your pride and sin. Trust in Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
Then, begin in your journey of learning and living out His wisdom. He has given us His Word to guide us in every area of life. He wants us to know Him, and to have hope and purpose in this life. He wants us to join Him in His work of redeeming and discipling people. This is His work which has delayed His judgment of this world. But one day when that is work is done He will return. He will judge those who have not believed and will completely finish His work of restoration.
Humbly seeking Him to learn from Him is wisdom. It is not wisdom to delight in the foolish, sinful, self-expression that our world delights in. That is not true wisdom and authenticity. It is pride and a desperate, confused cry for significance and meaning. True significance and meaning is not found in our foolishness. It is found in the God who made us. Seek His wisdom for your life. See His purpose for your life. See His love. Get to know Jesus, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge as Colossians 2:3 says. Forever remain humble and teachable in the presence of His wisdom which He has given to us in His Word, the Bible.
If you have any questions on any of this or want help in coming to know Jesus as your Lord and Savior please come talk with us. We are available. Let’s pray.
© 2025, Kevin A. Dodge, All rights reserved.
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB),Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org
English (US) · 