Learning From The Way Of The Fool, Part 2
4/7/2024
Turn with me to Proverbs 17:9-11. These are our verses to study and memorize this week.
Proverbs 17:9-11 He who conceals a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends. 10 A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding Than a hundred blows into a fool. 11 A rebellious man seeks only evil, So a cruel messenger will be sent against him.
Introduction
Here in Proverbs 17:7-26 we are predominantly dealing with the fool and his way of life. We are being given ways of living to avoid. The dangerous precipices on the sides of the highway of the upright are being made visible as the light of day dawns upon it in the wisdom of God.
Just like concerned parents today might tell their children to beware of the dangers of drugs, premarital sex, peer pressure, smoking, pornography, social media use, marrying an unbeliever, worldly philosophies, etc. so too Solomon gave warnings to the princes and the upcoming rulers of his day. In his wisdom he gave warnings about a number of timeless, foolish ways of living which flow out of our human nature. These are issues which in every generation bring about the downfall of many people.
Have you ever shared that private bit of information with someone else that really was not yours to share? Have you ever hurt or ruined a relationship by saying something you should not have? In verse 9 we will see the foolishness of gossiping.
Do you brush past people’s rebukes, remonstrances, and efforts to teach you something? Do you just do things your way without considering that you might be wrong? Do you rush to correct people who are experts in what they do, and ignore their feedback? Do you live like you know better than the older people in your life, or if you are older, do you act like you have lived long enough and seen enough that you really know everything that you need to know? Do you get defensive and make up excuses to justify yourself when corrected? In verse 10 we will see the foolishness of not being teachable.
Do you chafe at rules and authority? Do you live seeking out doing what you feel like, and what brings you the most pleasure regardless of what other people, the law, or God’s Word says about an issue? In verse 11 we will see the foolishness of being a rebel.
These are all real issues that many people today continue to struggle with and deal with. Indeed, most of us have probably lived in some of these ways this past week. So let’s look more closely at these verses and see what we can learn to avoid and beware of from the way of the fool.
Our first proverb highlights the foolishness of gossiping and complaining about others.
9 He who conceals a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.
The one keeping offences private is pursuing reconciliation and maintaining relationships, whereas the one broadcasting issues breaks even close bonds.
Most of the proverbs in this section on foolish ways of living are synonymous/synthetic. That is, the second part of the proverb reiterates or adds to the first part. However, three of them (this one in verse 9, as well as verses 22 and 24) are antithetic. The second part contrasts with the first part of the proverb.
However, in all three of these cases the verse ends on the negative, foolish behavior. That is the main focus. That is the behavior which we are to avoid and learn from.
Proverbs 11:13 somewhat similarly told us that “He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is trustworthy conceals a matter. There we saw the kind of person who keeps their mouth shut about issues. They are people who are trustworthy in character. They do not unnecessarily broadcast issues. In the beginning part of our current verse we now see why one would not repeat a matter. It is out of love for someone. The wise person takes time to think through an offence that has occurred. They do not just immediately go on the offensive and retaliate using their tongue as a weapon. No, they consider their relationship as more valuable than that. They would rather pursue reconciliation one on one. They would rather see their relationship repaired not destroyed. They assume the best about the person and the situation, not the worst. They work for the best possible outcome of the relationship, not the worst.
On the other hand, that is not the way of the fool. Just like Proverbs 12:16 earlier said, “A fool’s anger is known at once, But a prudent man conceals dishonor.” The fool does not think about others or the implications of their words before they speak. They vent their anger as it comes. It is just like Proverbs 16:28 emphasized, “A perverse man spreads strife, And a slanderer separates intimate friends.” This kind of gossiping fool repeats a matter regardless of whether it destroys their relationship with somebody, or puts a wedge between other people’s relationships. Indeed, that may even be their very goal.
Here in Proverbs 17:9, though, we see that this foolish behavior goes beyond the antagonism of one who is intentionally spreading strife or slandering. It includes the naïveté of one who more innocently or thoughtlessly repeats a matter. It also includes the self-focused reality of the person who feels better about themselves as they belittle a person or as they become the center of attention while passing along their bit of gossip. The result can be the same in all these cases. Marriages may be destroyed, or the trust within them ruined. Through this betrayal long-standing friends can become enemies. Siblings can become bitter with each other. Parents and children can become estranged. Coworkers can become antagonistic. New acquaintances can be turned off and given a skewed perspective on someone. All of this can happen because private matters are foolishly repeated in situations where they had much better been kept secret or dealt with on an individual level.
Needlessly repeating other people’s business and sharing private information is a foolish way of living that brings much destruction in relationships. Rather than follow this way of living we should learn from observing fools and work at guarding our mouths. We should not follow their examples. We should think before we speak. We should think more of other people and what is truly loving for them rather than what might benefit us or make us feel good in the moment.
Do not misunderstand this. This proverb is not talking about hiding sin that is being ignored. This is not talking about allowing or promoting any unrighteous behavior. There is a time when private issues do need to become public. When you have done everything you can and the wrong is not being resolved because of stubborn unrepentance, when laws are being broken, when people are being hurt, when being silent would implicate you in other people’s sin, or, when other people need to know about something to appropriately deal with it, then an issue does need to be brought to the appropriate authorities—whether in the family, the church, or the government. The goal in it all, though, remains the same as when an issue was being concealed—to love the person and to bring restoration, repentance, and redemption. It is just that in some cases concealing no longer becomes love when people are being hurt and sin is continuing.
Scriptural Example: In Scripture we see an example of both sides of this proverb in Genesis 9:20-27 in an incident that took place between Noah and his sons after the flood.
Genesis 9:20-27 Then Noah began farming and planted a vineyard. 21 He drank of the wine and became drunk, and uncovered himself inside his tent. 22 Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside. 23 But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it upon both their shoulders and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were turned away, so that they did not see their father’s nakedness. 24 When Noah awoke from his wine, he knew what his youngest son had done to him. 25 So he said, “Cursed be Canaan; A servant of servants He shall be to his brothers.” 26 He also said, “Blessed be the LORD, The God of Shem; And let Canaan be his servant. 27 “May God enlarge Japheth, And let him dwell in the tents of Shem; And let Canaan be his servant.”
While we do not know all the details of what exactly occurred here it is clear that Ham did not do what was right, respectful, and appropriate in this situation. He somehow participated in this bad situation with his father Noah, and then repeated the matter to his brothers. He did not seek love. He did not seek to deal with the issue privately and directly. Instead he chose to broadcast it. Thus he ruined his relationship—and his descendents relationship—with his father and brothers.
On the other hand Shem and Japheth took steps to conceal the matter and deal with it respectfully. The same root word for “conceal” used in our proverb is used there in Genesis 9:23 to describe their covering over their father with the blanket. They did not spread the matter farther or mock it. Nor did they ignore it. They did what needed to be done in a careful, respectful way. In the end, that respectful, private way of dealing with things received Noah’s blessing and appreciation.
In life things happen that ought not to happen. Sin occurs. People say and do things that they should not say and do. When this occurs we all have a choice. We can try to handle it in a wise, righteous, godly way, or we can be fools. We can mock. We can be sarcastic. We can gossip. We can slander. We can try to hurt the other person because they hurt us. We can try to tear them down in the eyes of others. But when we choose those latter options we will end up hurting our relationship with that person and their relationships with others. That is the result of this kind of foolish behavior.
For those who would be wise, who would follow God’s highway of the upright, who would walk in love, that is not the way we should live. We should look to see what would be most loving and right in a situation and do it. We should remember Christ’s love and forgiveness of us for our sins. We should remember His love for us. We should remember how He reconciled us to Himself through the cross. Then we should follow Jesus’ and be willing to overlook our pain. We should sacrifice and work for reconciliation, restoration, and righteousness. Each day, and in each situation we must make this choice. Will we be careful with our words and love people, or will we gossip and bring destruction?
Proverb in Comparison: When we look to the rest of Scripture we see that Paul dealt with this issue in 1 Timothy 5:13-15. In this passage he was talking about the problems that church-supported younger widows could have if they were not wholeheartedly devoted to Christ. He says:
1 Timothy 5:13-15 At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention. 14 Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach; 15 for some have already turned aside to follow Satan.
Instead of this ruinous outcome occurring Paul wanted it to be the older, godly widows who would be supported by the church and going around to minister to people. In their years of godly living they would have learned discretion and self-discipline. They would not be as likely to be pulled away by sensual desires (as he mentioned a couple verses before this). Therefore his counsel was for the younger widows to remarry. They were to busy themselves in being faithful in the family ministries that God had given to them to be a priority for that time in life.
Idleness, gossip, and immoral desires lead nowhere good. Rather than all that, we are to be busy doing what is good and right. We are to not give an opportunity for Satan or others to reproach us (as verse14 talks about). To protect from this we must guard our tongues and be wise in what we say and do not say. Likewise, we are to pursue having the proper place where our marital desires are to be fulfilled—within marriage. Where God has not enabled that blessing, we can and should still learn from the principles that Paul gives here. We must be careful not to put ourselves in places where we are tempted—whether that be immorally, or in gossiping. Given in to, both of those will greatly destroy relationships and lives.
Truth in Connection: As we apply this proverb to our lives we need to honestly ask ourselves how we are doing with not repeating matters that are private. Do we respond to the behaviors of others against us with knee-jerk words and say things we should not? Do we try to get even by speaking badly of them publicly? Do we try to embarrass them, shame them, or make ourselves not look quite as bad in front of others by bringing up hurtful or embarrassing events from their lives? Or, less antagonistically, do we share stories that are private as we try to get the approval or interest of others? Do we try to make ourselves look better by sharing how much we know? Do we enjoy gossiping, sharing, or living vicariously as we speak of the sins and situations of other people? If so, then we are destroying relationships. We are destroying marriages. We are destroying church relationships. We are pulling apart families. We are hurting friendships. That is a very foolish and dangerous way to live. It may start small. It may be accidental. It may be done out of naïveté. But it still destroys. May we not live this way. May we walk in the way of wisdom and always ask ourselves what is the truly loving and right thing to say and do in a situation. If it is not loving and righteous then we ought not to say it.
Our second proverb highlights the foolishness of not being teachable.
10 A rebuke goes deeper into one who has understanding Than a hundred blows into a fool.
The wise person takes a rebuke more deeply to heart than a fool would learn from continual beatings.
In this proverb we have a vivid comparison. When he does something wrong, the wise man allows words of rebuke to settle into his heart and mind in such a way that he learns and changes. He does not need bad consequences or the school of hard knocks to teach him. He learns from the words of correction given by others. He is humble enough to admit when he is wrong. He is humble enough to admit he does not know everything. He is humble enough to learn from someone older, or younger than himself. He is humble enough to admit there is a better way. He is teachable. He values what is right and best more than his pride or convenience.
On the other hand, not only do fools not learn from words of correction, they do not even learn from repeated physical punishment. They do not learn from hard consequences that come from their actions. Or if they do change it is quite begrudgingly, and only because they absolutely have to. That is the way of the fool. They are not teachable. Their ways are too ingrained for them to learn and change. Their mindsets of doing things their own way, of pursuing their own selfish pleasures, of being prideful in not acknowledging they were wrong or that there is a better way all work together to prevent them from being teachable.
This is a very foolish way to live. If we do not learn from our mistakes we will keep repeating them. The consequences will grow and get worse. We will ingrain into ourselves habits of pride, of lack of teachability, and of blind self-reliance. When that is carried over into our relationship with God we will end up exalting ourselves over Him, ignoring His sovereignty, and choosing our so-called wisdom over His true wisdom. We will think we know better than Him, and live like it. We will ignore His rebukes, defy His Word, or twist it to try to make it say what we want it to say.
Scriptural Example: In Scripture we see a striking example of this foolish lack of teachability with the pharaoh who ruled Egypt during the time of Moses in Exodus 7-11. He did not learn from the first 9 plagues that God sent against Egypt despite their supernatural origin and destructive impact on the country. He hardened his own heart, and then God hardened it too in order that the whole world would know that He is God and sovereign. The pharaoh was not teachable. For all time he has become an example of the foolishness of not listening to God’s rebuke and of not submitting to God’s sovereignty. It was not until God killed all the firstborn’s in Egypt that Pharaoh finally relented. But even then he ended up going back on his word and sending his army after the Israelites to bring them back into slavery. It was really only when God made it completely and physically impossible by the death of the army in the Red Sea that his foolish behavior and lack of teachability was put to an end.
We see the opposite reality in Peter’s rebuke by the Lord after his three time denial of Jesus. Peter was humbled by his failure. When Jesus turned and looked at him right after his denials, Peter left and wept bitterly (Luke 22:55-62). He took it to heart. After Jesus’ resurrection He challenged Peter and then re-commissioned him to ministry in the church that God was building (John 21:15-19). With the Holy Spirit’s enablement he went on to be one of the main spokesman in proclaiming the gospel of Jesus Christ. He did this despite persecution, beatings, and imprisonment. He learned from his failure and God’s rebuke. He learned not to trust in his own power and confidence. He learned to follow the Lord.
Proverb in Comparison: When we compare this proverb with the rest of Scripture we see that in the church a part of the responsibility of the leaders in preaching the Word of God is to rebuke. We see this in Paul’s strong command to Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:1-2.
2 Timothy 4:1-2 I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom: 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction.
God’s people need to allow God’s Word to rebuke, instruct, and encourage them in their lives. No one is above the need for being teachable and listening to rebuke. Even the elders who are to be teaching God’s Word are under its authority and should be held accountable to it. We see this in 1 Timothy 5:19-20.
1 Timothy 5:19-20 Do not receive an accusation against an elder except on the basis of two or three witnesses. 20 Those who continue in sin, rebuke in the presence of all, so that the rest also will be fearful of sinning.
Yes, there is a right way to do it, but no one is exempt. All of us need to be teachable—even pastors and elders. Ephesians 5:9-10 highlight that not only should we be teachable when we are corrected or rebuked, we also should proactively pursue finding out how it is that our lives should be lived.
Ephesians 5:9-10 (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth), 10 trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
If we do this, we will have to humble ourselves before God, His Word, and other people. We will have to admit that we do not always do things the right way. We do not always speak in the ways that we should. We do not always know what the right or best thing is. We must learn it, pursue it, and be teachable. We must go to God, through His Word, to find it out. We must listen to the teaching of God’s Word as He designed it to be taught in His church. We must listen to God’s conviction and rebuke in our hearts through His Spirit. We must take to heart the rebukes of other people and learn from their corrections.
Truth in Connection: Will you? Will you be teachable? Or will you walk in the way of the fool, thinking you always know best and stiffening your back when people correct you or try to teach you a better way to do something?
Will you continue to pursue learning? Will you commit in your heart right now that the next time someone corrects you that you will not just dismiss it but rather truly take it to heart and try to find something from the correction to learn from and change? Not every rebuke or correction from people is fully valid. But almost always there is something we can learn. At the very least we can always work on having the habit of humility by honestly and carefully considering the correction that is given to us.
Beyond this, will you commit in your heart to repenting and changing whenever you are corrected or rebuked from the Word of God? While not every rebuke from people is valid, every rebuke from God’s Word is valid and true. We must determine that we will humble ourselves before it and learn from it.
The first rebuke that it gives to every single one of us is that we are sinners who have defied God, tried to make ourselves out to be God in His place, ruined His World, and destroyed our relationship with Him through our sin. If you have never taken that to heart and turned from your sin to trusting in Jesus as your Lord and Savior, then that is the rebuke you need to heed today. No matter how many other rebukes in God’s Word that you heed or try to change you will never succeed if you do not start with this. On our own we cannot fix ourselves, fix this world, reconcile ourselves to God, or save ourselves from God’s judgment. We have to cast ourselves humbly on God’s mercy and grace in Jesus Christ.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16, KJV). “Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved” (Acts 4:12, KJV). You must trust in Jesus alone as your Lord and Savior. Only in Him is there life and forgiveness. Only in Him is there the wisdom, truth, and power to live in God’s new righteous way of life. Only in Him will you have the humility, power, and help to listen to His rebukes and be changed. Trust in Jesus, and then continue to listen to His rebukes. Remained humble before Him and continue to learn and grow until He calls you home to be with Him. Then He will finish His work in transforming and sanctifying us.
Our final proverb highlights the foolishness of being a rebel.
11 A rebellious man seeks only evil, So a cruel messenger will be sent against him.
Those who continue to seek evil will learn the consequences the hard way.
When the private admonishments of one who conceals a transgression against them out of love do not work, when the rebukes, and discipline of foolishness make no change, then there is this proverb. This kind of foolish person is devotedly bent on pursuing their evil. Their rebelliousness pays no heed to the words or punishment they have received. This is the person who is not just naively pursuing evil. This is the person intentionally and continually pursuing it.
They rebel against authority. They rebel against God’s standards of right and wrong. They push people to rebel against God in as many ways as are possible. It does not matter if God made marriage to be between a man and a woman, they will defy that and promote divorce, promiscuity, homosexuality, and other perversions from God’s design. It does not matter if God made a person male or female, they will defy that and mutilate other people to try to pretend it is not real. It does not matter if God made people in His image, they will defy that and kill them when in the womb when inconvenient or encourage them to commit assisted suicide when they are old, mentally troubled, physically in pain, or a big financial burden on society. It does not matter if God made government for good purposes, they will defy it when it pursues righteousness and promote it when it pursues wickedness.
In the end, there is one fate for this kind of rebellious pursuit of evil. God will send a cruel messenger against this person. Their foolishness will not be without consequences. God will take care of it. This proverb does not specify how or where. That is God’s prerogative. But it will come.
Scriptural Example: In Scripture we see an example of this in the generation of people living in Noah’s day. It was not just a person here or there that was like this. All of society was living foolishly this way. We see this situation recorded in Genesis 6:5-8
Genesis 6:5-8 Then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6 The LORD was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart. 7 The LORD said, “I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, from man to animals to creeping things and to birds of the sky; for I am sorry that I have made them.” 8 But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD.
Because of their rebelliousness in only seeking evil God sent a cruel messenger. He sent the messenger of death in the form of the flood. God judged the whole world of people then living. Interestingly, many ancient societies from around the whole world have left records for us with stories of this flood. God has left us all without excuse. Our wicked defiance of Him in our pursuit of evil has consequences which will come.
It is indeed a foolish thing to persist in our rebellious pursuit of evil. It places us in the hands of a just God who will repay sin as it deserves. His messenger of judgment will come. There will be no escaping it as long as we persist in our foolish pursuit of evil. If we would be wise we will learn from this and not rebelliously pursue evil. We will pursue God and His way of redemption and righteousness.
Proverb in Comparison: When we compare this proverb with the rest of Scripture we see what Scripture records in Hebrews 9:27.
Hebrews 9:27 And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: (KJV)
We also see what Galatians 6:7-8 says.
Galatians 6:7-8 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. 8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.
Many people deceive themselves into thinking that God will overlook their rebellious pursuit of sin. But that is all it is, a self-deception. God will send His cruel messenger. It may partially come in the consequences that they receive which are calling them to come to God in repentance, or it may come in and after their death when God gives his final judgment of them in the lake of fire. Either way the consequences of sin are horrible.
But thanks be to God, even in that account of the flood there is evidence of God’s mercy and grace. God saved Noah out of this wicked world that then existed. He made a provision for his escape in the ark. Similarly, God has made a way of salvation in Jesus Christ. We will either bear the judgment for our sin ourselves eternally, or it will be paid by Jesus on our behalf through what He did on the cross in His death, burial, and resurrection as the eternal God. The way of wisdom would call us to take this proverb’s warning seriously and run from our sinful rebellious pursuit of evil and trust in Jesus for cleansing, forgiveness, and true, eternal life.
Truth in Connection: Will you see the danger in living out life in the rebellious ways that the rest of the world does in its pursuit of evil? Will you learn from that foolishness and trust in God for His way of salvation? Will you continue to trust Him that His way of righteousness is wise and what we need to pursue? Will you receive the love of God as was poured out on the cross as for you? Will you continue to walk in the love of God which gives to us His ongoing grace, wisdom, and help which we need in every circumstance?
Conclusion
If so, then all of this will make radical changes in our lives. We will not live selfishly like we used to. As verse 9 shows, out of love we will not take offense at transgressions against us. We will value our relationships with others and do what is truly best for other people. We will guard our tongues and learn when to be silent. As verse 10 shows, out of humility we will not ignore the corrections and rebukes that we receive from others. We will become teachable. As verse 11 shows, out of loyalty we will obey God’s righteous standard and seek righteousness. We will not let our hearts continue in rebellion against our good, wise God. May we walk in these ways and not in foolishness.
If you have any questions on any of this or want help in coming to know Jesus as your Lord and Savior please come talk with us. We are available. Let’s pray.
© 2024, Kevin A. Dodge, All rights reserved.
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB),Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org
English (US) · 