186. Wisdom For Life’s Relationships: Dealing With Anger In Leaders (Proverbs 19:12)

5/4/2025

Turn with me to Proverbs 19:11-12. These are our verses to continue studying and memorizing.

Proverbs 19:11-12 A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression. 12 The king’s wrath is like the roaring of a lion, But his favor is like dew on the grass.

Introduction

The larger section of Proverbs that we are studying goes from Proverbs 18:22-19:24. It deals with wisdom for life’s relationships. The first verse began by looking at the closest relationship a man can have—a wife from God. Proverbs 18:23-19:8 then moves from marriage to true friendship (particularly in light of the deceptions of money). Proverbs 19:9-14 expands the scope to examine broader relationships in society (Particularly in relation to government) before returning to the family and marriage in the last couple verses. A chiasm in verses 15-24 then cap things off with additional wisdom for our relationships.

Last time, in looking at Proverbs 19:11, we learned God’s wisdom for dealing with anger within ourselves to find good in our relationships. Now verse 12 will complement that and guide us to God’s wisdom for dealing with anger externally from those in authority over us.

Have you ever had to deal with a critical issue with a family member, teacher, boss, or government leader who had authority over you in a situation? Have you ever had a big project, a job, or an opportunity hang in the balance over your interactions with someone else? Proverbs 19:12 gives us wisdom on the extremes—both good and bad—that can occur from those in authority over us.

With that overview of where we are at, let’s take a closer look at Proverbs 19:12 and continue to see how we can find good in our relationships through obedience to God’s wisdom.

12 The king’s wrath is like the roaring of a lion, But his favor is like dew on the grass.

A ruler’s anger can be weaponized into an intimidating and deadly enemy. Contrastingly, his appreciation can result in successes, triumphs, and opportunities. This proverb emphasizes that those in authority over us can have a great impact on our lives both negatively and positively depending on their viewpoint toward us.

This verse shows us the nature and power of rulers in a very picturesque way. The roaring of a lion is an intimidating reminder of its power, strength, and deadliness. If you have ever had a full grown, angry lion truly roar near you, you know that its deep, rumbling vocal cord pierces through you in an assault on your ear drums and even your body. It can be so powerful that it can be heard up to 5 miles away. It’s volume can be up to 114 decibels. That’s estimated to be 25 times louder than a lawnmower. Considering that the human pain threshold is 110 decibels, the sound of it can itself be physically painful. Beyond that, as it roars, its sharp, exposed fangs visually highlight its powerful ability to bring painful destruction. Hearing and seeing this directed towards you personally would intensely bring home the immediate, deadly danger that you were in. It is a promise of destruction if you mess with it.¹

In the same way, having a king or other powerful ruler be brought to anger directly against you is an indicator and warning of extreme danger imminently coming your way. They will most likely look to use their vast power to hurt and destroy you. They have the power, ability, and opportunity to wreak pain and destruction. All they need is the reason to do it. By provoking them you have just provided that.

We see this happen in governments the world over when a new leader takes power. They tend to go after their political enemies and suppress or attack them. In Bible times the previous ruler, his family, and his main supporters would often be put to death. While this behavior has not been quite as prominent in democracies it is often present in ways there as well. In our world’s current political climate this issue seems to be rising with the growing suspicion and hatred of opposing political sides. When it is the result of retribution rather than careful, impartial justice it is a bad sign for the direction of the nation. It invites a worsening cycle of retaliation and oppression when vindictiveness appears to be at its core. In light of this, God’s people need to know how to deal with powerful, angry rulers so that we can keep our focus on the life mission that God has given to us in making disciples.

Contrasting with all that, dew on the grass gives us a refreshing picture of something which gives life and promotes growth. Plants need water to thrive. So having a nice heavy dew on the grass each morning is a good indicator that the plants will have what they need to flourish. It is a promise of growth. It is a sign that things will go well in the future for the plant to grow and produce its fruit.

In the same way, having a king or other powerful ruler expressing their favor directly towards you is an indicator and promise that things are going to go well. You will have all that you need to accomplish your goals. You will have their support and aid through whatever difficulties that might arise.

Rulers tend to use their powers to make things happen. So if you deeply offend and anger them they are likely going to try to stop you—at the least. Similarly, if you greatly impress them they are likely to use their power and influence to help you. This reality is very important to understand as we work to have wisdom to produce good in our relationships. This proverb does not explicitly tell us exactly what to do or not to do. Instead, like many other proverbs, it expresses things in a way that pushes us to carefully think through situations to truly learn the wisdom that we need for the individual situations.

Having seen both the danger and blessing that a ruler’s viewpoint towards us can have this proverb pushes us to take the time to be discerning. It pushes us to consider the possible results of our interactions with them. Many problems arise by people thoughtlessly interacting with and responding to other people. With rulers this kind of behavior can have drastic consequences if we anger them, and it can result in wasted opportunities if we do not think to wisely use their good favor if we have it.

Proverbs 16:14 deals with a similar issue, and gave us some direct guidance for certain scenarios:

Proverbs 16:14 The fury of a king is like messengers of death, But a wise man will appease it.

Generally speaking, the wise thing to do once the anger of a king has been aroused is to try to appease it! Our verse, though, is a bit more broad. Hopefully it will help us from even getting to that point of needing to appease the king’s wrath. It is much better to think through our words and actions beforehand so that we keep from arousing the king’s anger to begin with! Likewise, it would be much better to win his favor and approval so that his blessing and help is received instead.

That being said, there are times when doing what is right will itself earn us the wrath of the king. Many rulers are wicked in different areas of their rule. Regardless, we can and should govern our own tempers and words so that we do not unnecessarily cause problems. We can learn to speak wisely and gracefully so that where possible we might even be able to get the helpful favor of the king for situations.

To produce good in our relationships, it is an important reality to understand that kings and rulers can have an immense impact on our ability to live, work, and succeed in our pursuits. Thus, we ought to respect that authority for what it is while not sacrificing truth or righteousness in any way.

All in all, this proverb highlights the importance of carefully considering our interactions with rulers and authorities beforehand. We need to think before we speak and act so that what comes out is wise. Knowing the nature, power, and authority of rulers as well as their likelihood to use their power in line with their likes and dislikes can give us guidance on how to wisely interact to produce good.

Scriptural Example: In Scripture we see examples of this proverb, with both the wrath and the favor of rulers, in the life of Joseph. First Joseph greatly impressed his slave-master Potiphar with his wisdom and faithfulness. Genesis 39:4-6 tells us how that went.

Genesis 39:4-6 So Joseph found favor in his sight and became his personal servant; and he made him overseer over his house, and all that he owned he put in his charge. 5 It came about that from the time he made him overseer in his house and over all that he owned, the LORD blessed the Egyptian’s house on account of Joseph; thus the LORD’S blessing was upon all that he owned, in the house and in the field. 6 So he left everything he owned in Joseph’s charge; and with him there he did not concern himself with anything except the food which he ate. Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance.

God’s favor and Joseph’s master’s favor made everything flourish! Unfortunately, that last reality of his handsomeness ended up catching Potiphar’s wife’s eye. She continually harassed Joseph to commit adultery with her, but he would not. Eventually his refusals made her angry enough that she falsely accused him of trying to rape her. That aroused Potiphar’s extreme anger. Scripture does not tell us if or how Joseph tried to defend himself, but whatever he did was not enough to prevent Potiphar’s fury from descending upon him like a hurricane. He took Joseph and threw him into jail with the king’s prisoners. He was left there to rot for years.

Thankfully that was not the end of the story. In God’s kindness the favor of the chief jailer came to rest upon Joseph. He was given charge over all the other prisoners. That in turn eventually allowed him to get to know Pharaoh’s cupbearer and baker. The king’s wrath had been like a roaring of lion in their lives. They had committed some offenses that angered Pharaoh and it led to them being thrown into prison too. When they both had extraordinary dreams Joseph correctly interpreted them. The baker’s dream foretold his death, but the cupbearer’s foretold his restoration to the Pharaoh’s favor.

A couple years later, when Pharaoh had some troubling dreams, the cupbearer remembered Joseph and mentioned him to the king. Joseph faithfully explained the king’s dreams and gave guidance on how to deal with the coming famine. Because of that he received the abundant favor and gratitude of Pharaoh. He was permanently taken out of the prison and elevated into a position of great power to put into practice what he had advised. Indeed, “the king’s wrath is as dangerous as the roaring of lion, but his favor is like dew on the grass.” Joseph experienced both sides of this proverb! (Genesis 39-41)

Scripture gives quite a number of other similar incidents. For instance, Saul elevated David to being a chief general in his army after he killed Goliath, but then he repeatedly attempted to kill David in his unwarranted fits of jealousy and rage. In his wrath, Saul also had the priests of Nob and their families all slaughtered because the high priest helped David. Saul’s wrath was dangerous.

King Herod the Great famously raged against the prophecies of the coming messianic king of Israel when Jesus was a baby. That led him to put to death all the young boys of Bethlehem. Likewise, his son Herod Antipas imprisoned John the Baptist for speaking against his adultery. Ultimately, under the instigation of Salome and her mother Herodias, Herod beheaded John.

In the book of Daniel we find a unique story of a king’s wrath. Nebuchadnezzar threw Hananiah, Azariah, and Mishael into the fiery furnace when he was angry with them for not worshipping the golden image he had set up. In that situation, however, we see God’s favor miraculously overruling Nebuchadnezzar’s authority and preserving their lives.

Proverb in Comparison: While it is important to respect the earthly power and authority of rulers, when we compare this proverb with the rest of Scriptures we see that we ought to even much more so respect the omnipotent power and authority of God. Jesus spoke about this in Matthew 10:28 in the context of His disciples being persecuted in the future for faithfully proclaiming Him.

Matthew 10:28 “Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

Ultimately, we are to respect God’s authority, power, standards of righteousness, and wisdom above all else. His wrath and favor transcends this life to eternity. In comparison to His power and authority the earthly roaring of kings is not even as powerful as the meowing of a cat. Likewise, their favor is as but trinkets in comparison to His eternal riches and blessing.

Thus when we think of this proverb in respect to God, it should cause us to remember that He is the judge of all things. No sin, whether in thought, word, or action will go unaccounted for. Romans 1:18 and 2:5 are quite clear on this dangerous reality that we all find ourselves in because of our sin:

Romans 1:18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness,

Romans 2:5 But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God,

In light of these truths, our proverbs is telling us that we should not wait until God’s wrath is being poured out upon us. We ought to do the opposite of what Romans 2:5 says was happening. We should have a humble and repentant heart instead of stubborn unrepentant ones. We need to realize our inability to pay for our sins and redeem ourselves. We need to recognize what Jesus did on the cross is our only way of salvation and forgiveness. Then we need to turn from our sin and trust in what Jesus did to apply to us personally. At that point the truth of Romans 5:9 belongs to us.

Romans 5:9 Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.

We ought to heed the warning of Proverbs 19:12 about the king’s wrath being like a roaring lion and not wait until it is too late. As torturous as an earthly king’s wrath might be it will be nothing in comparison to God’s eternal, just, holy judgment in the lake of fire. If we continue defying God and carrying out our destructive evil thoughts, words, and actions doom is all that can await us.

The amazing blessed reality is, though, that in Jesus the Messiah God not only saves us from the wrath of God, but we are also adopted as the very children of God. We are brought back from the dead spiritually. We are freed from our slavery to sin. We are given God’s Holy Spirit. We are promised that in Jesus we will be fellow inheritors of all things in Romans 8:16-18.

Romans 8:16-18 The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him. 18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. (cf. also Matthew 5, Revelation 21:7)

Think about that favor and blessing: we will inherit the kingdom of God as fellow heirs with Jesus!

Indeed, that is so much more than what any earthly king could provide. God’s favor is truly like dew on the grass. It is the promise of all good things to eternally enrich our lives. Ephesians 2:4-7 puts it this way:

Ephesians 2:4-7 But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

No matter what we might have done in the past, we ought to humble ourselves before God’s mighty hand and trust Him now to be our Lord and Savior. No sin is worth His eternal judgment. No sin or earthly experience could compare with His eternal favor and blessing. We ought to take these realities into consideration and turn to God now while there is yet a way of redemption in Jesus Christ. After death it will be too late.

Truth in Connection: As we apply this proverb to our lives, that is the most important consideration that we should have. Where are we in relation to God’s wrath or favor? Our sin earns His wrath. Nothing that we do on our own can change that. Isaiah 64:6 highlights the reality of our situation.

Isaiah 64:6 For all of us have become like one who is unclean, And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment; And all of us wither like a leaf, And our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.

Since even our so-called “righteous deeds” are like a filthy garment in view of God’s true standard of righteousness, then we have no hope of becoming righteous by our efforts. Our only hope is turning to the salvation that God Himself provided through the incarnation in Jesus Christ. He bore our sins on His own body on the cross in order that He might save us from them and from the judgment that we deserve. Will you heed the wisdom of our proverb about the deadly danger of angering the king of kings? Will you humbly repent of your sins and trust in God’s way of salvation in Jesus?

Having done that, God gives us a new life and new desires. He makes us a new creation. We desire righteousness. We have a new relationship with God. We can and should run to Him for help in everything that we face. We can and should learn through Jesus how to turn the other cheek, how to let go of our bitterness, how to give our anger to Jesus, and how to love others. We can and should learn to entrust justice to God’s care and have compassion on other undeserving sinners. We can learn to do what we referenced last time in Romans 12:18—“so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”

We can also learn to do what Paul instructed just a few verses later in Romans 13.

Romans 13:1-8 Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves. 3 For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same; 4 for it is a minister of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil, be afraid; for it does not bear the sword for nothing; for it is a minister of God, an avenger who brings wrath on the one who practices evil. 5 Therefore it is necessary to be in subjection, not only because of wrath, but also for conscience’ sake. 6 For because of this you also pay taxes, for rulers are servants of God, devoting themselves to this very thing. 7 Render to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor. 8 Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.

Knowing that the power and authority of rulers has been vested in them by God to bring wrath on the one who practices evil should cause us to submit to all lawful ordinances that do not go against what God has commanded. If we walk obediently to God in these things, then we put ourselves in the best possible position to produce a good and productive relationship with our governing authorities.

Yes, as 1 Peter 3 and 4 talk about, there will be times when we will suffer for righteousness sake from unjust people and rulers. Yet even in that God can produce good. Note what 1 Peter 3:14-18 says.

1 Peter 3:14-18 But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. AND DO NOT FEAR THEIR INTIMIDATION, AND DO NOT BE TROUBLED, 15 but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; 16 and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame. 17 For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong. 18 For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit; (cf. also 1 Peter 4:1-5, 12-19)

In cases where we simply cannot avoid the wrath of unjust rulers, we can rest at peace in our hearts knowing that we receive the very blessing of God when we suffer for righteousness sake. We can also have the peace of God knowing that we will still be able to accomplish everything that He wants us to do as He works things out for good (Ephesians 2:10, Romans 8:28). Having this confidence in Him, we then ought to look for how we can use those situations to proclaim the good news of the gospel and be a light for Jesus through suffering like He did. We can look to bring glory to God through the situation by showing our eternal hope in Jesus and proclaiming it.

If we do that, then we will still be able to produce good in our relationships. How? Because even through the hardships Christ will be exalted and proclaimed. Since making disciples is the purpose in life that God gave to us in His great commission that is the priority that we are to have in all our circumstances. When we make seeking first God’s kingdom and His righteousness our priority then we will be able to rejoice regardless of what we physically lose or suffer in this temporary life. And no, this is not empty rhetoric. This is the perspective we are all to have whether in sickness or health, under persecution, or in favor. Paul modeled this for us to be able follow in his footsteps. While he was in prison for the gospel he put it all this way in Philippians 1:18-30.

Philippians 1:18-30 What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed; and in this I rejoice. Yes, and I will rejoice, 19 for I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, 20 according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. 23 But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; 24 yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake. 25 Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy in the faith, 26 so that your proud confidence in me may abound in Christ Jesus through my coming to you again. 27 Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel; 28 in no way alarmed by your opponents—which is a sign of destruction for them, but of salvation for you, and that too, from God. 29 For to you it has been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, 30 experiencing the same conflict which you saw in me, and now hear to be in me.

Thus in all situations God’s wisdom guides us in how to handle our relationships with rulers and those in authority over us to produce good. First, we live in light of what God hates and blesses. We turn from our sin to salvation in Jesus. In Him God’s wrath is satisfied and we are brought into God’s blessing. Day by day as Christians we follow Jesus. We seek His favor over mankind’s and even our own sinful desires. We keep turning from the temptation to sin to serving Jesus.

Then secondly, we respect the earthly authorities that are over us. We seek to live at peace with others as much as is possible while we fulfill God’s purposes for us in making disciples. As we do that, we think righteously and circumspectly—before we interact—so as not to unnecessarily stir up the anger and vengeance of those over us. We think righteously so that we can use the favor and blessing of authorities that we might have to bring about what is right and best for God’s glory.

Where standing up for what is right might conflict with authorities, we can still make sure that it is the truth and righteousness that is offensive and not we ourselves. Then, having done what is right, we can trust in God for His present and eternal blessings. We can and should look for opportunities in the midst of our persecution to proclaim the hope of repentance and forgiveness of sins in Jesus name as Jesus instructed in Luke 24:46-48. If we do these things, then we can trust that God will produce what is ultimately best in our relationships with those in authority over us.

It is often not easy to humble ourselves, to turn our cheeks, to entrust justice to God, and to think carefully through what we are saying and doing, but ultimately it is God’s wisdom for our lives. May we trust God that His way is best, and that His purposes for our lives are more important than the sacrifices, suffering, or humbling that we might have to endure. Through it all may we faithfully proclaim the reason for the hope that is within us. May we point people to repentance and forgiveness of sins in Jesus name.

Conclusion

If you have any questions on any of this or want help in coming to know Jesus as your Lord and Savior please come talk with us. We are available. Let’s pray.

© 2025, Kevin A. Dodge, All rights reserved.

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible^® (NASB),Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org