Don’t Misread Proverbs 31. Discover Lady Wisdom.

3 days ago 13

Oh, no. Not Proverbs 31 again!

If you are a woman who has been around a Bible study for any time at all, it would not be surprising to have this reaction at the mention of this passage. And if that was your response, I wouldn’t blame you. I admit to the same impulse.

Many women have been beaten over the head with this text and find it utterly exhausting. You look at all the ways this wife is described and you think, “There is no way I could possibly be that woman.” I understand.

Even so, before you move on to a different article, let me challenge you: Perhaps there is something more here that will encourage you as a student of the Bible—and also, as a woman. The portrait of the so-called “virtuous” woman is about far more than wifely duties. It is, in fact, the personification of the timeless and ancient person we first learn about in Proverbs 8: Lady Wisdom.

Oh, and by the way, that doesn’t mean men shouldn’t learn about Proverbs 31. Remember that it was originally a wise mom’s advice to her son. Besides, men undoubtedly know women they can encourage.

Lady Wisdom’s joyous partnership with the Son (Prov 8)

It shouldn’t surprise us that the woman in Proverbs 31 finds her origin in Proverbs 8, where another woman, Lady Wisdom, is revealed. So, before we set about rescuing our Proverbs 31 sister, let’s briefly seek to understand Lady Wisdom.

Solomon personifies Wisdom as a woman who had been “brought forth as the first of his works, before his deeds of old; [she] was formed long ages ago, at the very beginning, when the world came to be” (Prov 8:22–23 NIV). She was there “before he made the world … or any of the dust of the earth” (Prov 8:26), even before the creation of humanity from that very dust (Gen 2:7).

Lady Wisdom, in other words, was there with the Son (John 1:1–3), constantly at his side (Prov 8:27–31), as God spoke (Gen 1:3) and the universe came into existence. This wise Son, in whom are “hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Col 2:3), is surprisingly said to partner together with her, utilizing the gifts Lady Wisdom brings (Prov 3:19–20), mirroring the way Adam and Eve were to partner together in gracious rule over his whole creation (Gen 1:26–28).

Woman’s teaching role in [Proverbs] alongside man’s (e.g., 1:8; 6:20) fulfills part of the vision in Genesis 1–2 of man and woman together representing the image of God and called to exercise authority in the world on God’s behalf, and invites men and women to seek to realize this vision in the world.¹

As the wise Son partnered with Lady Wisdom, using her gifts, she was “filled with delight … rejoicing always in his presence, rejoicing in his whole world and delighting in mankind” (Prov 8:30–31). This joyous description of creation is echoed in the Lord’s own words, proclaiming that the “morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy” (Job 38:7). Creation was not secret, solemn, silent, or solitary. It was a raucous party overseen by the Lord Jesus and Lady Wisdom.

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What Lady Wisdom teaches

Even after the creation, this Lady continues to speak. She is described as a woman who is always declaring wisdom, teaching children (Prov 8:32), rulers (8:15), indeed, all humankind (8:4), including even the simple or foolish (8:5). What does she teach? Her trustworthy, right, true, and pure words (8:6–7).

“Choose my instruction instead of silver,” she urges, “knowledge rather than choice gold.” Indeed, her “wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her” (Prov 8:10–11). Solomon, who once desired wisdom more than anything else (1 Kgs 3), and who hoarded disturbing numbers of women and riches (1 Kgs 10:23), knew what it was to desire, to accumulate, and to ultimately despair in anything other than wisdom that begins with the fear of God (Eccl 2; 12:13).

What is this wisdom that Solomon once sought and that Lady Wisdom teaches? Briefly, “Wisdom teaches how to live a discreet and careful life as opposed to a reckless one.”² Rather than mere inert philosophizing about esoteric truths, the Bible’s wisdom is more like common sense, but not merely folksy sayings like “a stitch in time,” nor does it make promises about prosperity, like: “If you live a wise life, you are guaranteed a secure bank account.” Rather, it shows a deeper way to the good life, as found by living in the reverence of God. Indeed, it declares that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Prov 9:10). Wisdom begins with reverence for God and it answers the question: What would wisdom look like in my life today if I were to reverence God in everything?

More pointedly to our topic though, what would Lady Wisdom have to teach us about our sister in Proverbs 31?

Renaming the Proverbs 31 woman

Before we look broadly at the ways that Lady Wisdom and the Proverbs 31 woman mirror each other, let’s rescue her name.

Historically, in Proverbs 31:10 this woman has been called “excellent” (ESV), “virtuous” (KJV), or a woman of “noble character” (NIV, CSB). However, the Hebrew word (חַיִל) actually denotes “strength, wealth, army” and “refers to various kinds of strength, especially military force and wealth.”³

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Of course, when translators consider how this woman should be described, they might shy away from military descriptors and choose instead from the range of meanings closer to what is stereotypically feminine. While “virtuous” (KJV) is certainly a beautiful character quality, it seems more inward and inert and would more closely fit the Victorian woman who cross-stitches and plays the pianoforte demurely while a Mr. Darcy gazes on.

However, the חַיִל‎ woman more closely resembles the Dora Milaje warriors in the movie Black Panther (2018): She is a wise woman of valor, strong in defending the weak and boldly speaking for her king. So let’s refer to her as the “valiant woman.”⁴

A valiant woman who speaks (1 Pet 3:1–6)

Which brings us to one more translation note: Many wise women who love the Lord and Bible study feel cowed into silence because they have mistakenly been told that a virtuous or excellent wife is “quiet” (1 Pet 3:4). Actually, the word “quiet” that Peter uses (ἡσύχιος) means “well-ordered”⁵ and also “to be calm, tranquil.”⁶ Instead of describing a mousy wallflower, Peter describes a wise woman’s inner self as having a “gentle and quiet spirit.”

In other words, Peter does not teach wives married to disobedient husbands to be silent. Rather, this passage teaches that a wife suffering in this way is to be confident and at peace, doing “what is right” and not giving way “to fear” (1 Pet 3:7).⁷

Perhaps a better description of such a woman is that she is humble, does not feel the need to show off her wealth or beauty, and that she is at peace—though her husband may not be like her Lord. Because she trusts her Lord and knows that he cares for her, she can be tranquil and peaceful, and like a lake on a windless day, reflect the beauty of the Lord.

Like Lady Wisdom, this valiant woman described in 1 Peter 3:1–6 is strong, has a voice, and boldly uses it for her king. But she is also at peace, wisely understanding that though her husband may not value her, she is of great worth to her Lord.

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How Lady Wisdom relates to her valiant daughter

Now let’s consider how Lady Wisdom and her valiant daughter resemble each other.

Trait	Lady Wisdom (Prov 8)	Valiant Woman (Prov 31)
Fears the Lord	Fears the Lord, hating evil, pride, and arrogance (Prov 8:13)	Is described as a woman who fears the Lord (Prov 31:30)
Instructs in wisdom	Speaks what is noble, true, and right (Prov 8:5–9, 14)	Opens her mouth with wisdom (Prov 31:26)
To be treasured over jewels	Is incomparably superior to jewels (Prov 8:10–11, 19)	Is more precious than jewels, given her rarity (Prov 31:10)
Receives honor and praise	Possesses honor (Prov 8:18)	Is praised for her surpassing works (Prov 31:28-31)
Possesses strength	Has strength and insight (Prov 8:14)	Clothes herself with strength (Prov 31:17, 25)
Is industrious and active	Is described as a “master workman” (Prov 8:30)	Diligently provides for others (Prov 31:13–16, 19, 22, 24, 27)
Influences for the sake of others	By her, kings reign justly (Prov 8:14–16)	Cares for others and meets the needs of the poor (Prov 31:15, 20)
Enriches those who find her	Accompanied by riches; brings blessing and favor (Prov 8:18, 21; 8:34–36)	Does good all her days; ensures no lack of gain; brings honor (Prov 31:11–12, 15, 18, 21, 23)

It’s really beautiful to see how Lady Wisdom and her valiant daughter resemble each other, isn’t it?

Of course, they also differ. Lady Wisdom is a personification. She is the cosmic embodiment of wisdom, not an actual person. She is a principle and undergirds the entire creation, a pillar that upholds all that there is and infiltrates everything. She was there at creation, a companion to the Creator at the beginning of time. She is utterly perfect, infinite, and eternal.

In contrast, the valiant woman depicted in Proverbs 31 is assumed to be finite. Her work is limited to her local context and community. But even so, her portrayal is far more than a description of just one woman’s life. Like Lady Wisdom, she seems perfect. No wonder so many women feel exhausted when they are told to be like her!

For this reason, it’s important we understand the connection between this Lady Wisdom and the seemingly ordinary life of the woman of valor: In short, as the worthy woman of Proverbs 31 lives faithfully in her day-to-day obligations, she mirrors the deep and ancient wisdom that has been there from the beginning. Her life has its roots in the creation narrative—the very foundations of the universe.

So too, the traits we observe in both personifications then are not reserved for women only. Though the ancient wisdom is referred to as feminine, a godly man would do well to emulate it, as well. Indeed, men would also do well to embrace the valor of the valiant woman of Proverbs 31, to be willing to labor in humility and faithfulness, knowing that the Lord sees and will reward.

Lemuel, the writer of Proverbs 31 asks an important question: Who can find a valiant, wise wife (31:10)? Lady Wisdom encourages him, “I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me” (8:17). This search, in other words, is more than a king’s search for a good wife. It is a search for the Lady (wisdom) who has existed since the dawn of time and who is to inform our lives. The valiant woman portrayed in Proverbs 31 then is this gift of wisdom—to both women and men.

Proverbs 31 as invitation, not law

Proverbs 31 has often functioned as law, a list of demands, a cudgel to beat women into one particular mold. Instead, it should be seen as a gracious invitation to women to step out, seek wisdom about their particular gifts and calling, and labor in faith for the Lord. It can be summed up in Paul’s words,

Therefore my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor is not in vain. (1 Cor 15:58; emphasis added)

Your wise labor is worth more than rubies, gold, or many riches (Prov 8:10–11, 19; 31:10).

As we’ve seen, the valiant woman speaks to each of us, whatever sphere God has called us to. She speaks to the woman who is not, and perhaps never will be, married. She speaks to the woman who does not have children in her home. And she speaks to men. Instead of placing expectations on us to become something other than what God has called us to be, she informs the myriads of ways we might live out the wisdom she bestows.