Learning From The Way Of The Fool, Part 7
5/19/2024
Turn with me to Proverbs 17:21-22. These are our verses to study and memorize this week.
Proverbs 17:21-22 He who sires a fool does so to his sorrow, And the father of a fool has no joy. 22 A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones.
Introduction
Before we begin looking at these verses it would be helpful to remember where we are at and see where we are going. In Proverbs 17:7-26 we are looking at lessons from the ways of fools. The first section, Proverbs 17:7-15 dealt with the fool’s unjust behavior. Then Proverbs 17:16-20 looked at the crooked mind of the fool. Now in verses 21-26 we will see the broader effects of the fool on family and society. In all of these sections we are looking at dangerous behaviors for us to avoid. They show us how not to live and give us motivations to live by God’s wisdom.
The main part of this new section is bookended in verses 21 and 25 by mentions of the sorrow a fool brings to his parents. Additionally, the first word of verse 21 and the last one of verse 25 in Hebrew are the same word for bearing a child. The ones who produce a fool are greatly impacted and hurt by the behavior of their child.
Verse 26 provides a final bookend to the larger section which began in Proverbs 17:7. It started with a reference there to unfitting, foolish behaviors for a prince. Now it concludes with the mention of unfitting, foolish treatments of a noble. The foolish behavior of leaders and people leads to the foolish treatment of good leaders and the righteous. Foolishness affects not just the person doing it. It hurts families, all of society and even government. When it grows unchecked it destroys family and society.
Have you ever seen a child behaving foolishly and felt bad for their parents? Have you ever made foolish choices yourself and brought your parents pain, sorrow, and anguish? Have you ever had sleepless nights as a parent out of concern for a wayward child? To help us deal with these kinds of issues, in verse 21 we will see the consequences of foolishness to a family’s well-being.
Have you ever had something joyful that just resonated in your heart and kept coming back to your mind so that even if something hard happened you were just able to persevere through? Your circumstances did not really matter because you had or were going to have what you really wanted and needed. On the opposite side, have you ever had it where you just could not get some hard news, bad situations, or bad feelings out of your mind and heart and it affected your school, your work, your appetite, or your sleep? Have the foolish actions of others ever left you discouraged or despondent and it impacted your health? To help us deal with these kinds of issues, in verse 22 we will see the consequences of foolishness in the broken-heartedness that it brings.
Let’s take a look more closely now at these two proverbs to see what God would have us learn.
21 He who sires a fool does so to his sorrow, And the father of a fool has no joy.
Having a foolish child brings great sorrow and robs joy.
One of the real consequences of foolishness is that it brings one’s parents great sorrow. Nor is this just some light, temporary pain. No. It is a deep, abiding sorrow that does not go away. When a child pursues foolishness as a way of life it causes an underlying pain that exists through life. This specific word for sorrow, or grief, is only used 3 other times in Scripture. In these other cases we see the deep, pervading nature of this sorrow. We first see it in Psalm 119:28.
Psalm 119:28 My soul weeps because of grief; Strengthen me according to Your word.
It is not just that one’s eyes weep from this sorrow. The Psalmist describes a grief that reaches down into his soul to the essence of his being. That is an intense sorrow that goes beyond the physical! And yet, notice here that even under this most intense of sorrows there is hope. There is help. It is found in the truth of God’s Word which the Psalmists asks God to strengthen him with. The deepest of wounds needs the strongest of help. The rivers of living water from God are our only true help under the burden of these kinds of intense sorrows.
The second time that we see this word for sorrow is in Proverbs 10:1. It is at the very beginning of the proverb section of the book after 9 chapters of sermons from Solomon. It is used very similarly to our current proverb.
Proverbs 10:1 The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son makes a father glad, But a foolish son is a grief to his mother.
The very first incentive to follow the pathway of wisdom we are given in the proverb section of Proverbs is the encouragement that in pursuing wisdom we will bring joy to our parents. The first warning that we are given is that if we allow ourselves to be foolish we will pierce them through with grief.
The third, and only other, time that this word for sorrow is used is in Proverbs 14:13. In it we see the enduring, underlying nature of this pain.
Proverbs 14:13 Even in laughter the heart may be in pain, And the end of joy may be grief.
Parents are brought great pain when they raise a foolish child. The foolishness brings a hurt like very few other things can. Loving parents pour their lives into their children. They spend their time, their energy, their money, their emotions, their care, their fears, their joys, their hopes, and their efforts into their children. So to have them choose foolish, destructive, sinful paths gives a pain that settles deep into one’s being.
In fact, it settles so deep into fathers and mothers that it affects their ability to have joy. In one sense, it makes it impossible for them to have joy in that child. If they value wisdom and care for their children the destructive, evil, painfulness of their foolishness makes parents unable to truly have joy in them. The sin destroys that ability. Additionally, in the sense that Proverbs 14:13 mentioned, even in other joys there will still be an underlying reality of pain that exists. Yes, parents can still have joy in God, and in each other, and in other children who are walking in wisdom. Yes, parents can find peace and help in God by the strengthening of His Word as Psalm 119:28 speaks of. But that will not take away the facts of the estranged, hurtful reality caused by the sinful foolishness of their child.
Given this deep, enduring grief and pain that can be caused in the family, there are two main important lessons of wisdom that should be learned from the foolishness of this way of life.
1. Parents should do all that they can while they can to raise their children in God’s way of wisdom. Knowing the pain, ruin, and evil that results from having a foolish child we should be intentional to teach our children wisdom, to warn them about foolishness, and to point them to their need for God in every area of their lives.
2. On the other side of things, children should do all that they can to avoid foolishness and pursue wisdom. If we let ourselves persist in foolishness we will hurt our parents (and ourselves) beyond our understanding. If we love them we will not do that. We will pay attention to their instructions on wisdom. We will heed their warnings about foolishness. We will run to God for wisdom in every area of our lives.
Scriptural Example: In Scripture we see one example of this with Adam and Eve and Cain and Abel. Cain caused immense pain and suffering to his parents when he killed his brother. Under God’s judgment he also ended up moving far away. Thus both of Adam and Eve’s first two sons were effectively lost to them by Cain’s evil, foolish actions. You can see the reality of that pain when they had another son Seth, as recorded in Genesis 4:25.
Genesis 4:25 Adam had relations with his wife again; and she gave birth to a son, and named him Seth, for, she said, “God has appointed me another offspring in place of Abel, for Cain killed him.
The very explanation and reasoning for their naming of Seth shows the loss that they were experiencing. The horrible situations were on the top of their minds. They could not be escaped. The loss of a child to death, and the loss of another to his sinful, foolish choices was hard. In Seth’s birth they did see God’s working, but it was still all in light of what had brought such destruction and pain. God’s grace is sufficient day by day when we look to Him, and He does give blessing in the midst of pain. Yet, its final removal will not occur until we go to be with Him. Sin brings great pain.
Proverb in Comparison: When we compare this proverb with the rest of Scripture we see one aspect of the issue framed quite succinctly in Ecclesiastes 2:18-19. In this chapter Solomon has been detailing the pursuits of life that he tried and highlighting their vanity. Then in these verses he considered the end results of his extensive hard work.
Ecclesiastes 2:18-19 Thus I hated all the fruit of my labor for which I had labored under the sun, for I must leave it to the man who will come after me. 19 And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have control over all the fruit of my labor for which I have labored by acting wisely under the sun. This too is vanity.
When one’s child is a fool what should be a delight becomes a discouragement. Instead of being able to pass along what one has worked hard for all of one’s life and see it prosper, and instead of being able to see the next generations established and growing under God’s blessing it all comes to nothing. What one poured so much of their life into is going to waste. Foolishness will destroy it.
There is a double-emptiness and sadness here. Not only has the foolish one been following a path of destruction for their own lives, but their actions also make so much of their parents own life pursuits worthless. All the time and energy and focus put into that child is coming to nothing. The legacy and lasting, positive impact goes nowhere. This is what the way of foolishness leads to in the family life when a fool pursues their destructive path.
Given this painful end result, the wise will do all they can to not walk in this pathway of life. The wise will do all they can to raise their children in the way of wisdom. The answer to Solomon’s despair and the vanity of Ecclesiastes 2 is found right here in the book of Proverbs. The very goals of Proverbs are to give God’s wisdom for one’s own life and to enable teaching the next generation to fear the Lord and walk in His wisdom.
When we do not walk by wisdom, all we end up with is the emptiness of life that the book of Ecclesiastes exposes. Thus Ecclesiastes gives us a big picture reason and motivation for living by the wisdom of the book of Proverbs. It is not enough for us to know God’s wisdom, we must be motivated to see our need for it. We must desire it. We must apply it to our lives. Very similar to that situation expressed in Ecclesiastes, this proverb shows us the end result of following the way of foolishness on one’s family. It brings great grief. It robs joy. It makes empty and worthless so much of what has been done in life.
Truth in Connection: As we connect this to our lives, we should ask ourselves where our way of life is going. Will we have caused great grief, or brought great joy?
We should ask ourselves what we are teaching our children and grandchildren. Looking back, will our way of life have been worth it? Will we have led our families, friends, neighbors, and acquaintances towards God’s wisdom? Are we setting ourselves up for much pain later on by neglecting our families, neglecting the pursuit of wisdom, and neglecting seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness?
Our second proverb highlights the consequences of foolishness on one’s health. It delves deeper into the real life effects of living in the way of foolishness. It is not just at the end of our lives that it can impact our families and ourselves. It can greatly impact us and them all throughout life.
22 A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones.
The condition of the heart affects one’s health. Foolishness brings broken-heartedness.
With this proverb Solomon returns to using a contrasting (antithetic) proverb to make his point. In these chapters of Proverbs these are much rarer. Instead he generally focuses on using proverbs that restate their point in the second half (synonymous) or add on an additional aspect to the first part of the proverb (synthetic). So it stands out when Solomon returns to this kind of proverb. We will see this happen one more time in this chapter when we look at verse 24. In all three of the times that this kind of proverb is used in this chapter the verse ends on the negative, foolish behavior which we are to avoid or learn from. So he uses the positive aspect to highlight the stark reality of the foolish way of living.
In this case the first part of the proverb really stands out. We have been talking about all these negative, foolish ways of living that are so ruinous. Then all of the sudden we hear that “a joyful heart is good medicine.” It is almost enough to make us wonder if we are starting a new section of proverbs. But, as we read the rest of the verse we see where the real emphasis lies. “A broken spirit dries up the bones.”
In light of how helpful joy and hope are to one’s life the absence of it can pose a real danger. In the continued context of our passage this great, enduring grief, which foolishness brings upon one’s parents, can thus actually have a dangerous, life affecting impact on them.
It should be said that not all broken-heartedness is directly from foolishness. It can come from different causes. But from these verses we do see that following the way of foolishness can definitely cause heartache and a broken spirit to loved ones and oneself.
On the broader scope of things, God made us to have purpose and meaning in life. Originally He made us to joyfully fellowship with Him while we brought Him honor by stewarding His good, perfect creation. We were to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. Sin marred that and brought death. It separated us from God physically and spiritually. We lost His life-sustaining power. But for His temporary grace as He works out His plan of redemption we would all physically be dead and under His just and eternal judgment. Because of sin we lost the joy of fellowship with God. We lost the ability to truly glorify Him as we took on the sinful goal of glorifying ourselves.
In life we only have two options. We can either try to sustain ourselves in the temporary enjoyments, interests, and pursuits of pleasure that we carve out, or we can be sustained by fellowship with the God who made us through Jesus the Messiah. We can try to live off the circumstances that we make, or we can live off of God’s sustenance.
Many people—whether believers or unbelievers in Jesus—do find a shadowy “joy” in the good gifts that God made for us all to rightly enjoy in Him. They pursue family, food, friendship, creativity, curiosity, work, and play. Those indeed can provide a temporary hope and purpose. Yet, without God and enjoying them rightly in Him they do not have true sustaining power. For many people those pursuits become more and more empty as the weight of sin’s effects in this life unavoidably impact them. When that hits someone’s spirit with a heavy dose of reality it can break them and leave them shattered. It can take away their hope, their purpose, their joy, and their will to live. When this hits many people they will seek out other entertainments, other pleasures, and others escapes to make them forget their pains and the pointlessness of their pursuits. Others will simply give up. Some will turn in repentance to true faith in Jesus, or back to finding their true strength moment by moment in Him.
When one has true joy through daily, ongoing fellowship with God it is like medicine to one’s body. It gives meaning, strength, desire, and motivation. Joy in God can sustain our spirits regardless of our circumstances. In Him we can look beyond our situations and current suffering to His ultimate purposes, to His ultimate plan for our lives, and to His measureless and super-abounding love for us personally. When we are truly looking at the glory of God in the face of Jesus (as revealed to us in God’s Word) it will empower us for everything that God wants us to joyfully accomplish with Him. When our faith is in God not just for our salvation, but for our daily and eternal good then we will have a joy that supersedes all suffering. When our trust is truly in God’s promises to come back for us, to redeem our bodies, to recreate this world, and to make us co-inheritors of all things with Jesus then we will have a peace that surpasses all understanding. This joy will give motivation and purpose to our daily experience. It will drive away complaining and bitterness. It will give peace, rest, and abiding joy.
God made our bodies and souls to be intertwined in such a way that what affects one part of us affects the other. When one aspect of our body hurts it naturally affects other aspects and even our spirits. When our spirits are grieved and overwhelmed it affects our physical body. Stress, discouragement, and depression are physically unhealthy. Similarly, when our spirits have joy, it somehow helps our body—even in its physical health. Joy, peace, and purpose are healthy for us. Like medicine they can often aid in our healing.
To follow God’s way of wisdom then, we will need to focus on Jesus and pursue true joy from Him in our trials. This is the true medicine which we all need for our spirits. As we do this it may very well end up improving our health. But even if not, it will enable us to faithfully persevere and accomplish all of the good works that God has prepared beforehand for us to walk in. It will enable us to know God better and rejoice always regardless of our circumstances. It will enable us to have true peace when our circumstances do not warrant any. It will enable us to finish well the race that God has set before us. The battle against our flesh and the work to continually cast our cares on Jesus may be relentless, but there is a path to joy in Jesus. He has blazed the way for us and will lead us in walking by His strength and joy as we depend on Him. The NET Bible puts it this way in Hebrews 12:2-4.
Hebrews 12:2-4 keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. For the joy set out for him he endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Think of him who endured such opposition against himself by sinners, so that you may not grow weary in your souls and give up. 4 You have not yet resisted to the point of bloodshed in your struggle against sin. (NET)
He endured joyfully. He can enable us to do it too. In the work and the promises and the presence of Jesus there is limitless hope and joy even if there is none in our circumstances.
Scriptural Example: In Scripture we see examples of this broken spirit with David after Absalom’s coup and then death in battle. Despite his son’s great evils David intensely loved him. David had given careful instructions that Absalom was not to be killed in battle if he was encountered. But Joab, David’s general and nephew, killed him anyway. When David heard the news that his son was dead it shattered him. As 2 Samuel 18:33-19:7 records, David wept, crying out for his son in anguish. He even cried out wishing to God that he had died instead of his son. This went on for some time until Joab strongly confronted him and warned him that if he did not go out and encourage the people that all those who had just fought for him would leave. Things would end up worse than they had ever been in the past. David’s grief over his son’s behavior and fate had overwhelmed him. He could not see or think straight about everything that was going on.
We do not know the circumstances of when it was written, but in Psalm 22 David wrote a messianic Psalm. In it he cries out to the Lord when he felt abandoned by him. His descriptions of himself and his situation prophetically match Jesus’ experience and suffering on the cross in quite an amazing way. Often we focus on that aspect of this psalm. Yet, the reality is that it also expresses how David’s anguish and suffering had greatly affected him physically in his own situation.
Psalm 22:13-19 They open their mouths to devour me like a roaring lion that rips its prey. 14 My strength drains away like water; all my bones are dislocated; my heart is like wax; it melts away inside me. 15 The roof of my mouth is as dry as a piece of pottery; my tongue sticks to my gums. You set me in the dust of death. 16 Yes, wild dogs surround me – a gang of evil men crowd around me; like a lion they pin my hands and feet. 17 I can count all my bones; my enemies are gloating over me in triumph. 18 They are dividing up my clothes among themselves; they are rolling dice for my garments. 19 But you, O LORD, do not remain far away! You are my source of strength! Hurry and help me!
David’s broken, empty spirit had dried up his bones. His vitality was gone. He was spent, gaunt, empty, and had no hope in himself. His physical and mental situation affected him bodily. Yet, like with Psalm 119:28, what brings us hope in our own situations is the example that David modeled here. Even in the midst of his debilitating situation he kept turning to the Lord, seeking Him, and depending on Him.
Proverb in Comparison: When we compare this proverb with the rest of Scripture we see Solomon’s general advice in Ecclesiastes 11:8-10.
Ecclesiastes 11:8-10 Indeed, if a person lives many years, let him rejoice in them all; but let him remember the days of darkness, for they will be many. Everything that is to come will be futility. 9 Rejoice, young man, during your childhood, and let your heart be pleasant during the days of young manhood. And follow the impulses of your heart and the desires of your eyes. Yet know that God will bring you to judgment for all these things. 10 So remove sorrow from your heart and keep pain away from your body, because childhood and the prime of life are fleeting.
We will have hardships in this life. We do not know whether the people coming after us will squander our hard earned rewards. We do not know if we will have children who will pursue destructive, foolish ways of living. Our life will be fleeting. There will be many empty, unrewarding, discouraging experiences. Sin has broken and tainted everything in this world. And yet, every good thing in this life is a good gift and blessing from God for us to enjoy. So we are to enjoy them.
Yes, we are to remember the days of darkness. We are to remember the broken reality of the world that we live in. We are to remember that our days are fleeting and temporary. But, we are also to remove sorrow from our heart. We are to allow those hard realities to wisely guide us, but we are not to fixate on them in a way that removes our ability to rejoice in God and His good gifts. We are to pursue enjoying things in the way that God intended—enjoying the desires, and interests that God has given us. Our guardrail from going in a sinful direction with that is the knowledge of our ultimate accountability and responsibility to God. The beautiful reality here is that by living in the fear of the Lord we will actually be enabled to enjoy life to the full and more closely to what God intended in His creation of this world.
In Romans 5:1-5 we also see the extraordinary true hope, joy, and love that all Christians have.
Romans 5:1-5 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
All of us are born sinners. We have all violated God’s righteous, moral law. We deserve His eternal judgment for our treason and the destruction of His good, perfect world. Yet, in His great love He has made a way of redemption through Jesus Christ. He went to the cross willingly to pay the penalty for our sin debt Himself and to exchange it for His righteousness. When God opens our eyes to our need for Him and we place our faith in Jesus we are justified. We are legally declared righteous before God’s throne of justice. Where formerly we were enemies of God we now have peace, reconciliation, and restoration to God. Jesus’ amazing love gives us this introduction into this amazing state of blessing before God.
By faith in Christ we are forgiven. We are adopted as the very children of God. We are given new hearts. We are cleansed. We now exult in the guaranteed hope that we will be with God in glory with the new redeemed, resurrection bodies that He will give to us when Jesus comes back for us. As we initially realize and then as we continue to remind ourselves of these amazing undeserved gifts of God we rejoice. We exult. We have something to hold on to that nothing can take away. We have God’s eternal loving care upon us in Jesus. This is what we have in Jesus for us to have unceasing joy over. As Paul said in Philippians 4:4, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!” (cf. also 1 Thessalonians 5:16)
Thus, even in tribulations we can exult and rejoice, like Paul and Silas did after being brutally beaten and thrown in jail in Philippi. Through all that we experience we can rejoice that God is continuing His good work in us which He began at our salvation as Philippians 1:5 says. He is purifying us. He is readying us for our going to be with Him eternally in heaven. He is at work in His amazing plan of redemption in our lives and He wants to use us to share His plan of redemption with all nations.
If we have these truths in our hearts, and if we have God’s purpose for us in the great commission—to glorify and enjoy Him by making disciples of all nations—firmly fixed in our minds then we will be able to rejoice even in suffering. We will have a purpose, God’s purpose, in it all. We will have joy in being able to do whatever we are able to do in using our gifts to serve Him and share His Word.
Truth in Connection: As we connect this more directly to our lives we learn from this verse the debilitating reality that following the way of foolishness brings to life. It can break our spirits, and those of our family and friends. But there is a better path. Walk in God’s way of wisdom. Thanks be to God, in Jesus there is eternal joy. Even if our loved ones have walked or are walking in this way of foolishness we can again find joy and help. Our mourning and grief can be turned to joy. We see this in David, and we see this in the way that Jesus was able to have joy even in the cross. But we must turn to Him, and keep turning back to Him. We must carry our grief to Him. We must hold onto and remember what He has given, is giving, and will give to us which brings unfading joy and peace: His redeeming love. Then, as Jesus did, we are to pursue, one step at a time, walking in the joyful purpose that God has for us.
We must not be surprised at our sufferings and trials. Rather, we should expect them and then run to Jesus for joy. Only in Him is there true, unfading joy. Our circumstances will change and fade. Our pain and grief will come and go. But He will remain. Drink deeply, daily, moment by moment from His river of living water. Be quenched and filled up to share it with others. Focus on and pursue His true joy in trials as your medicine. Languishing in a broken spirit will only break our health. He is the only true hope and strength. Let us hope in Him and find His joy.
If you have not trusted in Jesus personally as your Lord and Savior, then you must start there for any of this to be true for you. Trusting in Jesus’ work on your behalf to take away your sin and give you His righteousness is the only way that you can be justified (declared righteous) before God. By the power of Jesus, open your eyes! You must see your wrong, foolish, sinful way of life as the evil that it is before God. Turn from it to the truth of what God says. “Turn from darkness to light.” Turn “from the dominion of Satan to God.” (Acts 26:18) As Paul said to the Philippian jailer, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved.” (Acts 16:31)
Conclusion
If you have any questions on any of this or want help in coming to know Jesus as your Lord and Savior please come talk with us. We are available. Let’s pray.
© 2024, Kevin A. Dodge, All rights reserved.
Scripture and/or notes quoted by permission. Quotations designated (NET) are from the NET Bible® copyright ©1996-2019 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved.
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB),Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org
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