Finishing Well On The Highway Of The Upright, Part 5
3/10/2024
Turn with me to Proverbs 17:6. This will be our verse to study and memorize this week. However, to give us our broader context as we finish this small section of Proverbs, let’s read Proverbs 16:31-17:6.
Proverbs 16:31-17:6 A gray head is a crown of glory; It is found in the way of righteousness. 32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. 33 The lot is cast into the lap, But its every decision is from the LORD. 17:1 Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it Than a house full of feasting with strife. 2 A servant who acts wisely will rule over a son who acts shamefully, And will share in the inheritance among brothers. 3 The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, But the LORD tests hearts. 4 An evildoer listens to wicked lips; A liar pays attention to a destructive tongue. 5 He who mocks the poor taunts his Maker; He who rejoices at calamity will not go unpunished. 6 Grandchildren are the crown of old men, And the glory of sons is their fathers.
Introduction
The first and last verses in this section strikingly parallel each other with both referencing old age, a crown, and glory. That set the agenda and focus of the intervening verses which have been giving us wisdom for finishing life well on the highway of the upright. Before we come to our conclusion, it would be helpful to briefly remember what that wisdom was. What are some of the key truths that we need to know to attain to that ripe old age that becomes a crown of glory to us?
Proverbs 16:32 showed us the importance of being slow to anger and having self-control. A life full of anger where one is controlled by one’s desires leads to ruin and destruction. Whereas a life of self-control is truly praiseworthy. In Proverbs 16:33 we saw the importance of seeking God’s guidance for our lives given the reality of His sovereignty over all things. Without a belief in God’s sovereignty we will end up living our life in pursuit of our vacillating desires rather than according to God’s righteous standards. That too will lead to our ruin and destruction, not a long life well lived.
In Proverbs 17:1 we saw the importance of pursuing peace rather than riches. The pursuit of things over meaningful relationships in one’s family will lead to the breakdown and ruin of one’s family. Whereas pursuing God’s way of peace and harmony in relationships brings true joy and satisfaction. In Proverbs 17:2 we saw the importance of living by wisdom in our circumstances. Without wisdom guiding our actions even the best of life circumstances will be wasted and ruined. Whereas with wisdom there is great reward despite circumstances. In Proverbs 17:3 we saw the importance of knowing who weighs our actions and who works to make us holy. Without living in light of our accountability to God our lives will not amount to anything truly worthwhile. Whereas learning from God’s testing will produce holiness and usefulness in our lives.
Then in Proverbs 17:4-5 we were warned of the two dangers of the tongue which can quickly derail us from God’s highway of the upright. We first saw that what we listen to in life both influences what we become and reveals the evil that is already within our hearts. What we watch, pay attention to, heed, enjoy, pursue, and take into our minds magnifies the evils present in our hearts and pulls us far off of God’s way of righteousness. It will make us hypocrites, and deceive us. We may think we are fine, but in reality we are evildoers. As it destroys us it will ruin our testimony, keep us from accomplishing God’s purposes, and prevent us from finishing life well.
In verse 5 we were warned about the other dangerous side of the tongue. The words we allow ourselves to speak about others and to them can also pull us off of God’s highway of the upright. We saw how seriously God takes the words that we speak. It is not just the actions we do which God will judge as sin. It is also our words when we mock the poor or when we rejoice at the calamity of others. God will not allow them to go unpunished.
Having seen all these essential guidelines for growing in wisdom and staying on the path of the upright this section now concludes with bringing us back to where we started. Having lived in light of God and walked according to His wisdom—while being careful of the pitfalls along the way—we reach an age of crowns and glory. But this last verse does not just restate the first one in referring to the same elements. It goes much further. It shows us an important aspect of God’s perfect design for the whole family as it pushes us to explore the blessings, privileges and opportunities that righteously coming to a wise, old age brings. With that background, let’s study this verse more closely and unpack God’s design for both the old and the young.
6 Grandchildren are the crown of old men, And the glory of sons is their fathers.
Grandchildren are the biggest blessing of the old, and the true treasure of children is their parents and grandparents.
This verse is wondrously straight-forward, but it has a wealth of value that is worth dwelling on. The most valued treasure and blessing of wise, righteous, old men is their grandchildren. It is not money. It is not achievements. It is not fame. It is not power. It is their family. They have lived on God’s righteous way of life. They have gained wisdom. They then relish enjoying the God-given blessing of their grandchildren, and they delight in passing along their God-given wisdom to them.
They know that things will not last. They know what is eternal and has lasting value: the souls of their family and other people. They also know the emptiness of the pursuit of man’s way of pleasure and sin. They have come to know God and His purposes for life. They know that His way is right and best. They know that in Him is true joy and fulfillment. They know that only in Him can our sin be dealt with and our lives restored to what they were intended for. Thus they glory in their children and grandchildren and pointing them to God’s wisdom and redemption. They want what is best for them. So they delight in pouring into them all the truth, opportunities, knowledge, guidance and help that they can. They yearn to protect them from the pitfalls that they stumbled in, and that they saw destroy others. They enjoy showing them the beauty of God and His creation. They delight in experiencing life with them. Of all the things that have come from the fruit of their well-lived lives their grandchildren and family is the most precious and valued. They are indeed their crown.
Likewise, the true glory and biggest blessing of children is their fathers and grandfathers who have walked in God’s wisdom on His highway of righteousness. If children are wise, they will appreciate them with all of the wisdom from God that they impart to them. It will be a treasure beyond gold to them. It will be a glory that will help them for the whole rest of their lives. For each stage of life they will be able to learn from them the right way to go. It will have been modeled before them how to live for God’s glory. They will have seen how to finish well through living in a way that is truly meaningful and right. There is no greater inheritance or blessing than to have such guidance throughout life which points us to God and His way of wisdom and which protects us from pitfalls and dangers which would destroy us.
This cycle of life is what ought to characterize those on the highway of the upright. This is what our families ought to be like in God’s perfect design. For those who are younger on the pathway of the righteous, they learn from the wisdom of their parents and grandparents. They respect it, appreciate it, and seek it out. For those who are older on the pathway of the righteous, they pour out their lives with the wisdom and guidance they have learned into their children and grandchildren. Learn from the wisdom of your elders, and impart your wisdom to the next generation.
In this we see the essence of teaching and discipleship. It is not just occurring in some kind of academic, classroom setting. It is not taking place as some kind of drudgery or duty. It is not all work and no play. Instead, we see it occurring with joy in the context of a relationship. Family relationships should form the environment where the whole range of life experiences occur like this. There should be study and intentional learning. There should be work. There should be rest. Their should be fun and games. There should be good food and celebration. There should be discipline and instruction. Within all these experiences, teaching about God and wisdom and life and death should occur as we spend profitable, edifying, joyful, and hard times together.
Proverb in Comparison: When we compare this proverb with the rest of Scripture we see this very thing pictured and commanded in one of the very few other places in Scripture where grandchildren are specifically mentioned.
Deuteronomy 6:1-9 “Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the judgments which the LORD your God has commanded me to teach you, that you might do them in the land where you are going over to possess it, 2 so that you and your son and your grandson might fear the LORD your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged. 3 “O Israel, you should listen and be careful to do it, that it may be well with you and that you may multiply greatly, just as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey. 4 “Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! 5 “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. 7 “You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. 8 “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. 9 “You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
This was God’s command to Israel for how wisdom was to be passed along. Godly parents and grandparents were to teach the next generations God’s wisdom as they lived life with them. They were to enjoy God’s good blessings together as they loved and followed God. This picture of the family enjoying themselves and God together—while learning and teaching His Word—is reinforced by how they were to celebrate some of their main yearly feasts. Notice how Deuteronomy 16:10-15 describes what they were to do as they celebrated the Feast of Weeks in the spring and the Feast of Booths in the fall.
Deuteronomy 16:10-15 “Then you shall celebrate the Feast of Weeks to the LORD your God with a tribute of a freewill offering of your hand, which you shall give just as the LORD your God blesses you; 11 and you shall rejoice before the LORD your God, you and your son and your daughter and your male and female servants and the Levite who is in your town, and the stranger and the orphan and the widow who are in your midst, in the place where the LORD your God chooses to establish His name. 12 “You shall remember that you were a slave in Egypt, and you shall be careful to observe these statutes. 13 “You shall celebrate the Feast of Booths seven days after you have gathered in from your threshing floor and your wine vat; 14 and you shall rejoice in your feast, you and your son and your daughter and your male and female servants and the Levite and the stranger and the orphan and the widow who are in your towns. 15 “Seven days you shall celebrate a feast to the LORD your God in the place which the LORD chooses, because the LORD your God will bless you in all your produce and in all the work of your hands, so that you will be altogether joyful.
These feasts were to celebrate God’s blessings. They were to be teaching times and times of great rejoicing. In God’s perfect design for our families we should delight in being able to rejoice with our children, grandchildren, and community in God’s goodness. This is a foundational way that we learn to glorify God in all that we do. We should delight in teaching them of God and His rescue of us from sin.
We should delight in teaching them right from wrong and God’s perfect purposes for our lives. We should delight in helping them to learn to live in love, awe, and fear of God. We should delight in trying to warn and protect them from the deceitfulness and dangers of sin. We should delight in enjoying the many blessings of God with them. We should delight in sharing the perfect truth and wisdom of God’s Word with them. This is the way to true joy through a real, ongoing relationship with God.
Scriptural Example: In Scripture when we look for good examples of this we end up finding many situations where details are rather lacking on the family and parenting relationships of many of the godly people of the Bible. We do not know very much about how Adam, Enoch, Joshua, Caleb, or Boaz were as fathers or grandfathers. We can speculate that Boaz’s godly character passed along through Obed, Jesse, and then on to David. But we are really lacking in details to know if or how that occurred.
Many of the other godly men listed in Scripture had glaring issues in their parenting. They may have done many things right, but other aspects were not ones to follow. Abraham’s lack of faith and lying about his wife when in tight spots passed along to Isaac. Isaac and Jacob played favorites with their children. Eli and Samuel’s sons went astray. David did not discipline some of his children well and had two coup attempts from his own children. Solomon drifted into idolatry and did not seem to pass much of his wisdom on to his son Rehoboam. Godly king Hezekiah’s son Manasseh was one of Judah’s worst kings. Likewise, Josiah’s sons did not follow the Lord. Fathers in Scripture are often quite flawed and do not seem to reflect this proverb very well. To complicate this, a reality that all fathers and grandfathers face is that while they might rejoice in their children and grandchildren, they themselves are not always receptive to the wisdom and relationship offered. Prodigal sons happen.
Yet, this ideal family relationship is not a hopeless pursuit or a pie-in-the-sky phantom. Scripture does give us a number of good concrete examples of the way things ought to be that we can follow.
First, the book of Proverbs itself pictures this kind of reality with a grandfather, father, and son passing and receiving wisdom. In his efforts to teach his son, Solomon relates the wisdom that he learned from his own father in Proverbs 4. While David may have made glaring mistakes with some of his other children, he apparently did work to impart wisdom to Solomon. Likewise, while Solomon was definitely not the perfect example, which critically undermined what he said, at points in life he also put a lot of work into seeking God’s wisdom so that he could pass it along to the next generations. Through that, untold generations have benefitted from God’s inspired instructions to parents and children that is found in the book of Proverbs.
In their imperfect examples we are reminded of the reality that we too will not get it perfectly right. Whether as children, parents, or grandparents all of us fail. Nonetheless, we can learn from our failures—and theirs—and start from where we are at now. We can see God’s perfect design for the family. We can begin learning, appreciating, and growing from the wise, godly counsel of our parents, grandparents, or other older people in our lives. We can begin looking for ways to pass along wisdom into the lives of our children and grandchildren which God has taught us through His Word and our life experiences. We can learn to value what matters and pursue God’s wisdom ourselves so that we will have something worthwhile to leave to them.
Second, we do see a perfect example of the way this relationship should be in God. One of the striking pictures in the Bible is of God being the father of His people. In Romans 8:14-17 we see the intimate relationship that believers now have with God. We have this amazing relationship on the basis of what Jesus has done by His work on the cross in saving us from our sin and God’s judgment.
Romans 8:14-17 For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.
In the rest of the chapter we see more of the tender care and promises that God gives to those who have turned from their sin and trusted in Jesus alone for forgiveness and life. God makes everything work out for good for those who love Him and have been chosen as His children (Romans 8:28). Nothing can ever separate us from His love (Romans 8:35-39). Since He went to the extent of sending Jesus to die on the cross to redeem us, He will also give us everything else that we truly need (Romans 8:32). Not even death will be able to separate us from God’s love (Romans 8:35-39).
From the rest of Scripture we know that in His caring provisions He has sent the Holy Spirit as helper to us (John 14:16-18, 26-27; 15:26). He has given His word to communicate to us everything that we need to know for life and godliness (2 Timothy 3:16-17; 2 Peter 1:3-8). He has given fellow believers as brothers and sisters to help us through the trials of life and to aid us in carrying out His purposes for our lives (Romans 12; 1 Corinthians 12; Ephesians 4; 1 Peter 4). He disciplines and corrects us when we go astray to direct us in the right way and protect us (Hebrews 12, 1 Corinthians 11:28-32). Through all of this we can see that no one could be a better example of the kind of loving father that we ought to duplicate in our earthly families than what God has done and is doing for us as our heavenly Father. He is the perfect example and guide.
Third, within the church this family relationship extends beyond just one’s physical family to one’s spiritual family. Not all of us will have physical children or grandchildren, but we can all have spiritual ones that we pour our lives into. In that context Scripture has a number of powerful examples.
Barnabas and John Mark are one such example. Despite Mark’s failures in deserting Paul and Barnabas on their first missionary journey (Acts 13:13), Barnabas would not give up on him (Acts 15:36-39). Barnabas was a spiritual father to him, and continued imparting his wisdom to him, sticking up for him, and discipling him. In the end, Paul recognized the change that had occurred and specifically remarked about John Mark’s usefulness in 2 Timothy 4:11. Likewise, in Philemon 1:24 Paul calls him a fellow worker (cf. also Colossians 4:10). Barnabas poured his wisdom into John Mark despite his failures, and it ended up making a lifelong impact on him. These are the kinds of people we need in our lives to help us in growing in taking up our crosses and following Jesus as true disciples. We will have failures, but that is precisely where we need the wisdom of God and people who will keep pointing us to it.
We also see a very striking example of this in the life of Paul with Timothy. As a young man Timothy had been taken by Paul as a helper on his missionary journeys. Paul had discipled him. He delighted in Timothy. He treasured him. He gave him opportunities for ministry. He evidently loved him as if he were his own son—because that is what he called him three times in Scripture. Their relationship and the wisdom that Paul imparted to this beloved disciple was so important for us to learn from that God included two of Paul’s letters to Timothy in Scriptures. Notice what 2 Timothy 1:2-14 reveals about their relationship.
2 Timothy 1:2-14 To Timothy, my beloved son: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. 3 I thank God, whom I serve with a clear conscience the way my forefathers did, as I constantly remember you in my prayers night and day, 4 longing to see you, even as I recall your tears, so that I may be filled with joy. 5 For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well. 6 For this reason I remind you to kindle afresh the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 7 For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline. 8 Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord or of me His prisoner, but join with me in suffering for the gospel according to the power of God, 9 who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was granted us in Christ Jesus from all eternity, 10 but now has been revealed by the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel, 11 for which I was appointed a preacher and an apostle and a teacher. 12 For this reason I also suffer these things, but I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day. 13 Retain the standard of sound words which you have heard from me, in the faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. 14 Guard, through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us, the treasure which has been entrusted to you.
Paul was in prison for the gospel here, and sends a letter to encourage, help, and give some important final words to his beloved son, Timothy. His expressions to Timothy show the depth of their relationship and of their care for each other. Paul constantly prayed for Timothy. He longed to see him. He remembered their times together and longed to have the joy of time together again. Yet, it was not all emotional. Paul also gave him the encouragements, rebukes, reminders, and exhortations that Timothy needed to hear. He passed along the wisdom of God to help Timothy persevere and finish well in his life and ministry.
In the next chapter of 2 Timothy Paul also established this kind of family-like discipleship relationship as the pattern for the church. There he again called Timothy his son (cf. also 1 Timothy 1:18).
2 Timothy 2:1-2 You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. 2 The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.
Timothy was to disciple the next generation and pass along God’s wisdom to them. Lest we might think that this kind of family relationship was exclusive to Timothy or not connected to the discipling process, it may be helpful to note that in the personal ministry letter that Paul wrote to Titus he also called him his son. He had a deep relationship with him as well. Similarly, in the one other personal letter that Paul wrote, which went to Philemon, that short book is full to bursting with intimate family relationship terms. There Timothy is called a brother (Philemon 1:1). Philemon is called beloved and a brother (Philemon 1:1, 7). Philemon’s wife is called a “sister” (Philemon 1:2). Onesimus, the slave who had wronged Philemon, is called Paul’s “child” and his “very heart” (Philemon 1:10, 12). Paul’s reason for writing is that he desires Onesimus himself to be reconciled to Philemon as a “beloved brother” (Philemon 1:16).
In the church of God we are family. God’s design is for us to love one another, to teach one another, to encourage, to exhort, and to help one another. God’s design is for us to pass along His wisdom to the next generation through the reality of our discipling familial relationships with one another. We may not always physically have families that we can learn godly wisdom from, or that want to be taught God’s wisdom by us. But in the church we can have this even when our families might forsake us or persecute us like Matthew 10:34-39 and 19:29 describe.
Thus this picture that we have in Proverbs of grandfathers delighting in their grandchildren as their most treasured blessing extends to the church and world. We should care about the next generations and passing God’s wisdom along to them. It will be our crowning joy and main motivating purpose. Likewise, children should value the wisdom and godliness of their fathers, mothers, grandfathers and grandmothers—physically and spiritually—as their greatest benefit and blessing. No, they will not be perfect, but as they follow Christ themselves, and point us to His wisdom and Word they will be worth learning from. Then, as we follow Christ ourselves day by day we too will end up having wisdom to pass along to our children and grandchildren, whether they be physically, or spiritually. As we thus faithfully pass along all the wisdom that God has commanded to us in His Word, we will be faithful in making disciples like Jesus commanded in Matthew 28:18-20.
Truth in Connection: When this does not occur in a family, a church, or a society we see the breakdown of the next generations. The book of Judges is one long big example of this. The refrain of the book that explains why everything was so bad in Israel at that time was that:
Judges 17:6 In those days there was no king in Israel; every man did what was right in his own eyes.
When people do not walk in God’s design for life and family, when fathers, mothers, grandfathers, and grandmothers do not delight in their children and grandchildren enough to teach God’s Word to them, when children do not seek the wisdom and guidance of their wise, godly parents and grandparents, then all kinds of ruin and calamity occur within the family, church, and ultimately the nation.
Children are not given the guidance, help, and wisdom that they need to live for what really matters. They are not taught the wisdom that will protect them from the pitfalls and dangers of this life. Sin, idolatry, immorality, murder, wars, oppression, greed, and selfishness take over.
The next generation then are left with scars and brokenness from all the affects of the lack of love, wisdom, and guidance that we all need. They are left alone to deal with the consequences of others sins and their own. They are left without understanding their purpose and meaning in life. They are left to fend for themselves and to try to find meaning and purpose any way they can.
Right now we have a massive breakdown of the family occurring in our society. When parents and governments will not even protect children over the most basic realities of their biological gender, but instead fully support and promote the pursuit of just about any and every dangerous way of living or sin regardless of how destructive it is society will destroy itself.
We have people actively working towards the destruction of their children and grandchildren rather than for their blessing and benefit. People have been deceived into thinking that the greatest good someone can have is to encourage others to do whatever they feel like. But in reality actions have consequences, whether we can immediately see them or not. It is not love or good to encourage people to follow self-destructive, society-destructive, and eternally-destructive paths.
Instead of all that we need God’s wisdom. We need truly loving parents and grandparents who will delight in their children and pass God’s wisdom to them, who will teach them about their sin and a need for a savior, who will teach them right from wrong, who will teach them of our inability to live in a holy way on our own, who will teach them of our inability to reconcile ourselves to God and remove our sin through any effort or religion of our own, who will teach them of why Jesus went to the cross and what He did their in paying the penalty for our sins Himself, who will teach them of their need to repent and trust in Jesus alone, who will lead them in what it means to follow Jesus in every area of their lives like marriage, work, entertainment, hobbies, and church involvement, who will do what is right and speak for the truth regardless of persecution, who will help them in the daily struggles of their Christian walk and repenting of sin, who will guide them in applying God’s Word to their lives in the confusing or hard areas, and who will model for them and lead them in our life purpose of knowing, enjoying, loving, and glorifying God.
Will you do this for your children and grandchildren? Will you do this for your fellow church members, for other believers, and for others in the community? This is how the family should work. This is how the church should work. This is how a society will thrive and be blessed by God. We are seeing around us what happens in families, churches, and our society when we do not follow God’s design for grandparents, parents, and children. Is that what you want for your family? Don’t waste your life with lesser pursuits. Follow God’s highway of the upright for His redeemed people. Stay on it. Lead others with God’s wisdom. Be teachable and learn from the wisdom of the wise, godly people who are on God’s righteous way of life. It will be a glorious blessing and help to you. Let’s finish well together on the highway of the upright.
If you have not trusted in Jesus as your Lord and Savior, then that is where you need to begin. None of us know God’s wisdom on our own. None of us are righteous. We have all sinned and come short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). The wages of that sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord (Romans 6:23). He died on the cross to pay the penalty for the sins of all who believe on Him. He rose again, conquering sin and death. Turn from your sin and trust Him. Begin life with Jesus.
Conclusion
If you have any questions on any of this or want help in coming to know Jesus as your Lord and Savior please come talk with us. We are available. Let’s pray.
© 2024, Kevin A. Dodge, All rights reserved.
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible® (NASB),Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org
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